


Magic or Medication.

by Di_Cipher_Us



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Trans Male Character, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-05-18 22:39:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 29,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5945953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Di_Cipher_Us/pseuds/Di_Cipher_Us
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six years after Stanford Pines returned, any sightings of Bill Cipher have stopped all together. With no secrets left and the Pines family closer than before, there’s not much that could tear them apart. Expect maybe Dipper finding an injured man in the woods right next to a Rift in reality. And after stating the obvious, making a deal with said man into binding him to save their dimension.</p><p>Bill must work with the family whos' lives he’s twisted around in order destroy his once-friends’ plans to take over the dimension to teach them a lesson, while also avoiding getting killed by any of them. Dipper seems to be the sensible one, seeing the value in him being there. But even Dipper is hiding secrets. Even if he doesn’t know what they are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an alternative universe. In the AU, after the episode ‘Mabelcorn’, Bill doesn’t seem to be around and isn’t seen or heard from since. This takes place six years later, without a Weridmageddon or any sightings of Bill. Please enjoy.

Dipper grunted as he lugged the giant backpack. He had been sent on this mission this morning, by Stanford, to gather certain herbs and fungi for a certain concoction that was the help cure the flu, which Stanley had. Mabel was the main boss for the day, running the Mystery Shack until Dipper gets back. Under the condition that she could pick out or make his clothes for an entire week, which he had really wanted to reject but Stanford was just as pervasive as Stanley.

Dipper was nineteen years old and staying in Gravity Falls, Oregon. He was different from when he was twelve, stronger, taller, bushier hair. He still wore the stupid pine tree hat but he was wearing simple jeans a t-shirt today, having left his hoody back home.

He gasped softly as he stumbled, almost tripping and falling face first after he had stumbled over a root. Luckily, he had caught his balance in time. He knew these woods well enough, or he’d like to think so. He had seen so many little things grow so big and tall after only a few months. He was fascinated by the wildlife here, despite it liking to try and make a fool of himself. Mabel said he was making it too easy or doing it to himself, which often earned her a punch in the shoulder.

Dipper stopped walking when he heard the distance fluttering of wings. It was only then, he realized something was wrong. It was dead silent, expect for the crunch of the forest under Dipper’s feet. No birds, no squirrels. Dipper knew enough of the woods to know when it was this quiet, something was wrong. He shivered suddenly, feel a form of static electricity ripple through the air which made the hair on the back of his neck stand on edge. He kept on, however, speeding up in his trek in case it was lightening.

He looked all around, searching for the source of the silence and power. He was so busy being distracted with that, that he wasn’t paying attention to where he was walking. Which is why it’s his fault when he fell of a small ledge of a hill which cut off. Dipper shrieked in surprise and groaned when he landed in the mud, his jeans getting splattered with it and his backpack cracking his spine.

He looked around as he slowly got up and tried to get as much mud off as possible. But in the distance, he saw what was the cause of the disturbance. A small multicolor rift cut into reality could be seen over some bushes. It was trying to bleed a black and white world into reality but luckily, it couldn’t due to it not being able to latch onto anything solid yet.  Was that the mindscape? Dipper could recognize the lack of color with ease. He looked around with suspicious glances for any sign of the familiar triangle bastard hanging around, whom he hadn’t seen in about six years since his Grunkle Stanford came back through the portal.

So far, so good, he thought as he rounded the bushes before stoping at a rather odd, but familiar sight laying in a patch of soft grass. A bloody, bruised blond guy was lying unconscious in the grass next to the open rift. His clothes were in shreds like a vicious beast had tried to tear into him but only shredded his clothes. Dipper recognized him as a missing tourist from last week. They had been looking everywhere for him.

Though by the scene at hand, Dipper had a sick feeling. He looked back up at the small rift, biting his lip as he rummaged through his back pocket and pulled out his phone. He snapped several photos of the rift and of the guy who was lying on the ground, just in case. He sat his bag down with his phone resting on top. He slowly walked over to the rift, picking up a long stick. When in doubt, poke it with a stick, Stanley had told him at one point. The rift was about three feet all around and seemed to be pulsing. Dipper tapped the stick against the rift The stick rippled with blue and green veins and since nothing else happened, which Dipper made even more suspicious, he put the stick down and walked closer to it. He had a sneaking feeling he was gonna regret this, as he pushed his hand against the Rift.

It glowed bright blue as he touched it before turning into a dark navy blue, growing warm around his fingers before he ripped his hand away in fear he might burn his hand on it as it was getting hotter and hotter. It pulsed a few times before engulfing in a bright blue fury of fire and blinking in and out of existence before disappearing completely.

Dipper stared at where it had been before shaking his head, swallowing thick as he picked up his phone again. He began snapping photos of where it had been and around the scene of where the guy was lying. The stranger seemed a bit older than Dipper, about a year or so but he wasn’t completely sure. He had blond hair and was covered in scrapes, bruises, and other open injuries.

After getting enough pictures for any needed police report, he grabbed his bag and got on a knee next to the guy. He pressed two fingers against where his pulse would be on his neck. It was faint, but there. Dipper carefully used his free hand and pinched the guy’s nose closed. The pulse sped up for a few seconds before he took a deep gasping breath from his mouth, sighing it out. Dipper stood up and got his things together, including his phone tucked securely in his back pocket.

He carefully grabbed the man, lugging him over his shoulder. He was surprisingly light, much more so than Dipper had thought. Dipper began his trek back to the Mystery Shack, with enough difficulty. Despite being lighter than air itself, the stranger had long, oddly shaped limbs which were stringy and would flail him about if Dipper wasn’t careful. So it took about an extra twenty minutes of hiking, including a five-minute break when the guy had started getting heavy.

When Dipper saw the Shack, he sighed in relief as he ran up to the door. He kicked the backdoor open, to the house part of the Shack. Luckily, Stanley was feeling generous (or was way too hot with the flu) and had the air conditioner on high so the smell of warm food, a bit of dust and a thick, old book smell hit him with a cool gust of wind to properly make him feel at home.

“Mabel, I caught you another boyfriend!” Dipper yelled as he headed for the living room, grunting with slight effort as his bag was getting heavier, especially with the guy being a monkey in his sleep.

“Another? This one better be cuter than the last one!” Mabel yelled back from the kitchen, which made Dipper frown. He had been promised she was working in his place as manager for the day.

“Well,” Dipper cleared his throat as he slung the poor bastard onto the couch. “Paging Doctor Mabel! Paging Doctor Mabel! First Aid required of a blond, injured young man!” Dipper said, deepening his voice to sound like an announcer. After a bit of crashing about and laughter from Mabel, she was on her way.

She came in wearing one of Stanford’s old lab coats over her clothes and two first aid kits, with a pair of Stanley’s glasses with the lenses popped out.

“Doctor Mabel is in the house!” She giggled, twirling about as she walked over. He chuckled softly, shaking his head at his sister’s antics. He gestured to the guy passed out on their couch, which made her eyebrows furrow together.

“Isn’t he the missing tourist?” She asked, walking over and setting down the first aid kits on the coffee table by the couch.

“Probably.” Dipper grunted out, shrugging. Mabel sighed heavily, shaking her head as she pulled her hair back, folding up the sleeves of the coat and her sweater.

“Okay, get some bowls of warm water, clean towels, and some washcloths while I see if this poor baby needs to go to the hospital. Also, find that missing poster and see if his family is still in town.” Mabel ordered, pulling on a surgical mask over her mouth and nose. Dipper saluted and sauntered off in style to do as he was told. He got two big bowls, filling them up with warm water and several towels and washcloths from the closet and bathrooms, as well as some extra alcohol to clean his injuries better. He came back into the living room as Mabel was finishing setting up the two first aid kits on the table.

Dipper finally went off by himself, looking for the missing poster while Mabel worked on patching the stranger up.

“Dipper, where are those ingredients?” Stanford shouted from the kitchen, the smell of burning food invading Dipper’s nose.

“Gimme a sec, Grunkle Ford! I need to check on a few things really quick!” Dipper yelled back at him as he headed to check on the gift shop. He slammed his book bag on the counter and noticed that there were lots of wanderers hanging about and no one managing the shop.

“Wendy! Wendy?! Where are you?!” Dipper yelled before rushing over to the cash register and slammed his hand on the bell a few times to signal for them to come pay or get out. Three-fourths of the people came in line while the rest of them left the Shack, rushing out of there. Dipper quickly focused on ringing up the customers, going rather quickly. While he worked, he kept an eye and ear out for the red-head cashier girl who was supposed to be manning the register, especially since Mabel wasn’t fulfilling her end of the deal.

Dipper heard a familiar noise from the new breakroom and smiled at the next customer before excusing himself for just a moment. He rushed into the break room, earning a shriek of fright and a squeal as Dipper pulled Wendy by her pony tail out of the break room and back over to the register.

“I’m sorry! It’s so addicting! I can’t stop!” She sighed, rubbing her head as she started ringing up the next customer.

“It’s just Cookie Crack! If Grunkle Stan was out here, he’d take your phone away!” Dipper reminded her.” Just finish this off, I have lots of stuff to do and I need help Mabel and Grunkle Ford. I really needed your help today, Wendy.” Dipper said, looking down a bit. “And your kind of letting me down…” Wendy bit her lip, looking guilty enough to satisfy Dipper. He sighed, shaking his head before going over to the door and ripping the Missing Child poster, folding it and tucking it into his pocket.

He sauntered off to the kitchen next, tossing the filled bag onto the kitchen counter right next to Stanford and the stove. The old man took the bag eagerly and began to unpack its contents. He inspected each one carefully, before setting it down on the counter in even order.

“Well done!” Stanford praised, nodding as he inspected the ingredients.

Dipper hummed happily in return, grabbing a banana and taking a quick snack break. He watched Stanford work, stroking his chin and carefully inspecting each and every ingredient. Dipper knew it wasn’t going to work, and in fact make Stanley sicker, which is why that after he had been sent on the mission, Dipper had put the hospital on speed dial and called them while he walked, telling them that they should expect a call from them within this week.

As Dipper finished up the banana, he pulled out the missing poster and unfolded it. It almost looked exactly like the guy, expect for the blond hair which meant he had dyed them here. Figures. One little detail will easily throw the police off around here. He finished the banana off and tossed it in the trash before heading back to Mabel to check on their little missing child. Mabel was already finishing up on patching the guy up. He tucked the poster back into his pocket.

“He’s pretty cute.” Mabel giggled as Dipper entered the room, wiping the blood off her hands with a towel. Dipper raised an eyebrow before rolling his eyes.

“I guess, if you’re into fake blonds with a shitty hair style and weird teeth. Maybe that’s why you hung out with Pacifica so much.” Dipper grinned smugly when Mabel glared at him.

“You see; this is why she doesn’t like you. She has perfect teeth, by the way, and all that hair is in fact natural.” She huffed, making Dipper rolled his eyes at her sudden defensive attitude. Instead of pissing his sister off more, he decided to switch it to her patient.

“How is he?”

“He’s got some weird but mild burns, plenty of scrapes and bruises to spare and smells of nacho cheese, cooked steak and a bit of the hospital.” Mabel stated, making Dipper raise an eyebrow.

“Too much information, thanks. You didn’t have to smell him, you little creeper.” Mabel huffed and glared at him.

“Anyway, he’s fine, or he will be with some time and he’s probably will be sore when he wakes up.” Dipper nodded. “Who is he?” Mabel continued, turning her body to lean against the couch and look at him.

“Oh, uh, I’ll check it in a second. But he looks eighteen and probably an exchange student.” Dipper frowned slightly. “I knew we should’ve gotten fences for the woods in our area. Police are already thinking we’re in the kidnapping business with the people disappearing and reappearing because I keep finding them in the woods.” Mabel shook her head at that, sighing.

“It wouldn’t make a difference, Dipper.”

He just grunted in response before sighing. He glanced at their newest stranger as he started to mumble quietly as his eyes were fluttering about, trying to open.

“He’s waking up! That’s a good sign!” Mabel smiled brightly as she dipped a clean wash cloth in a clean bowl of still warm water and carefully wetted his sweaty face. “Come on, sweetheart, wake up!” The man groaned deeply in response, shaking his head away from the actually cold rag against his hot face.

“Easy, easy… Mabel, come here.” Dipper remarked, his voice getting lower and firm. Recognizing the warning in his voice, she got up and went over to Dipper. “Clean up, please.” Dipper requested, earning a nod from Mabel. She quickly gathered the bowls and towels before leaving the room with a nervous smile.

Dipper walked over to the man and watched him with careful as eyes as amber yellow eyes were revealed from behind their thick curtains of lashes. Dipper sighed and got on his knees to seem less intimidating.

“W-Where…Where am I?” The stranger rasped out quietly, blinking several times and looked up at Dipper with confused eyes. Dipper smiled, his eyes lidding.

“You’re in the Mystery Shack.” Dipper answered, putting his hands on the couch. The stranger blinked in confusion a few times before gritting his oddly sharp teeth.

“In Gravity Falls, Oregon?” Dipper grinned at the question.

“Well, of course you ought to know the answer to that!” Dipper replied with a smile. The guy scowled as his answer before frowning, turning his nose up and away from Dipper as he slowly sat up.

“Damn right I already knew that! I know lots of things!” He huffed boldly, laughing rather cockily but still tiredly. Dipper grinned.

_Hook. Line. Sinker._

“Hey Bill. It’s been what, seven years?” Dipper smiled as he stood up. He looked up at Dipper with wide eyes and bit his cheek.

“You found out much quicker than I thought you would. How?” He asked, his voice turning a bit higher pitch.

“Oh, come on. Finding a random guy in the middle of the woods who happens to be a blond, injured and by a ripped hole in reality while the mindscape is trying to bleed in. And you said the exact same line as you always said when we get together. That always screams Bill fucking Cipher until it’s throat is rubbed raw.” Dipper chuckled, grinning from ear to ear.

“I underestimated you, Pine Tree, as always. Never cease to impress me.” Bill hummed as he relaxed into the couch, sighing as he slung an arm under his head as a sort of pillow. He looked up at Dipper with lidded ember, pupils slit eyes. “Maybe I should’ve passed out somewhere else.”

“Maybe. What do you want and why are you here?” Dipper asked, chuckling deeply and shaking his head.

“Oh come on now,” Bill retorted playfully. “Can’t a basically omnipotent being come visit his favorite saplings?”

“Doesn’t sound like you to make house visits, or even come within thirty feet of the Mystery Shack without setting Stanford off. Oh, I should probably go get him. I’d bet he’d love to see you again…” Dipper hummed, fixing his hat as he stood up. He gasped silently as he was suddenly yanked into the face of an angry demon by his shirt collar.

“I highly advise against that, Pine Tree.” Bill growled, showing off just how long his teeth were. Dipper’s throat twitched as he swallowed thickly as those fangs came dangerously close to biting off his nose.

“Don’t,” Dipper grabbed Bill’s wrist, squeezing the limb until Bill let go of his shirt. “Bother trying to threaten me, Bill.” The demon looked surprised at Dipper’s new strength and it made a drop of confidence bleed into Dipper’s being. “It’s been years since we last talked. Thing have changed.”

Dipper released Bill’s wrist and stood up with a tired sigh before sitting down on the coffee table, ignoring the groan of protest it gave. He leaned back on his hands and looked at Bill with a bored expression.

“Why?” Dipper asked. Bill glared at him with sharpened eyes.

“Why what?” Bill asked, his eyes shining slightly.

“Why are you here?” Dipper gritted his teeth as he spoke, sighing heavily. Bill looked away, frowning.

“Shouldn’t you be asking how I got the flesh sack?” Bill shot back, sitting up and leaned against the arm of the couch.

“It’s obvious, you made a deal, some poor soul is stuck in the mindscape or whatever it’s called.” Dipper murmured. “The details aren’t concerning.”

“Right to the point then?” Bill grinned sharply, shooting a threatening glare. Dipper didn’t even look away and neither did Bill.

“Yes. Why are you here.” Dipper demanded, staring Bill down. Bill sighed, finally looking away.

“If you’re so worried about any plans I might have, there’s nothing. My plan was kicked down by some brat’s half-pint plan that has so many holes in the cup, it won’t hold water.” Bill sighed, closing his eyes. When Dipper didn’t respond, Bill continued speaking. “They kicked me out of the mindscape. It was my fault why, but nonetheless. The plan I had was shot down so I’m not a threat. Not really.”

Dipper studied Bill’s features. He seemed…troubled was the word that came to Dipper’s mind but it didn’t seem to fit. More stressed, if anything but still surprisingly calm. They sat in silence for several minutes before Bill spoke again.

“While my plan isn’t a threat, I will mention in advance that I do have some of my powers. Still, they’re very limiting and restricted but they’re still there. I’ll have to build the magic up but still. And I can still see all my portals.” Bill murmured quietly. Dipper mulled it over before standing up, digging into his pants for something.

_Click!_

Bill’s eyes shot open at the sound but more at the cold metal against his forehead. He looked up at Dipper who looked down at him with indifference.

“If you give me one reason why I shouldn’t blow your brains out now, well, I won’t blow your brains out.” Dipper said, his voice deeper than normal. His eyes were cool and collective. His hand wasn’t even shaking as he held the pistol to Bill’s forehead.

“Well, well, well!!” Bill suddenly cackled out, glaring up at Dipper. “Seems the Pine Tree has finally grown in those needles! I’m proud. Now, what’s with all this, though? Did you get that for me?” Bill giggled, his eyes squinting up in slight joy. Dipper shrugged.

“You left an impression. I’ve always been prepared.”

“I’d be offended if I didn’t leave one. And then I’d try harder to leave a better one.” Bill practically purred out, grinning so sharply. Dipper sighed tiredly, shaking his head.

“Bill, be serious. Give me the reason.” Dipper demanded. Bill grinned.

“My plan didn’t fall through but there’s a new one. And I so happen to of have it memorized every little shitty detail they made in it.” Bill said casually.

“So? I don’t care about the other demons from your dimension.” Dipper said, shrugging.

“Oh? Well, if they somehow they get it all together, they’ll invade this dimension and take it over. Of course, my plan was that too but it was much more elaborate than theirs. So much better.” Bill continued nonchalantly.

“What’s the catch? Why are you telling me this and why would you want to tell us about the plan?” Dipper asked, tilting his head to the side. Bill grinned.

“My plan was better. They kicked me out of the mindscape, damaged the body that I had to make a weak deal for and they replaced my leadership with a half-pint runt of a spoiled bitch-brat. Why do you think I want to see them crash and burn?” Bill’s grin turned darker as his pupils covered his amber irises before completely covering the white of his eyes into two pits of darkness

“ ** _I want them to come crawling back to me on their knees, begging me to take my role back and be put back in charge.”_** Bill growled deeply as he spoke with a sharper, more fangs grin that almost splintered his face in half.

Dipper blinked a few times before lidding his eyes in boredom.

“So, basically, you want our help to stop your colleagues from going through with their plan so your plan can be put back into power?” Dipper said, tilting his head and smirking slightly. Bill continued to stare up at him with black eyes before Dipper snorted.

“What would be the benefit to us?”

“Us?” Bill hissed out.

“My family. My friends. People of Gravity Falls.” Dipper named off nonchalantly. “You’re gonna destroy the world. Do you really think I want to help someone with a plan like that?” Bill blinked several times before his eyes flickered back to normal as he gritted his teeth very slightly before changing his attitude.

“We could make a deal, Pine Tree!” Bill said with a grin.

It was swept off his face as Dipper shoved the metal barrel against his forehead, flicking the safety off.

“Pine Tree, listen, we can work something out. Hear me out.” Bill said, his eyes glowing. Dipper’s eyes flickered away before a tiny smirk grew on his face.

“You’re scared.”

“ _Excuse me_?” Bill hissed dangerously.

“You’re trappedin that body. You’re basically human so if I pull this trigger, you’ll die.” Bill’s eyes widen only slightly but it was enough to confirm it for Dipper. Bill bared his fangs and glared up at him, his eyes blackening again.

“Someone’s getting smarter.” Dipper smirked at the retort.

“I’ve learned from the best.”

“Thank you.”

“I wasn’t talking about you.”

They sat in silence for several minutes before Bill spoke again.

“Look, the kid who took my place is a brat as it is. So how about I give you guys immunity to my plans? Come on, Pine Tree. Let’s talk it out!” Bill said, gritting his teeth. Bill must’ve been able to read what he was thinking. “I have information. You. Need. Me.”

“No, we don’t. We’re Pines. We can deal with this without you. I’d much rather shoot you. As a thanks for the childhood trauma.” Dipper said, sighing tiredly.

“Pine tree, I am _valuable._  I know everyone who’s involved. I know their weakness! I know the plan! Pine Tree, it would be so much easier to deal with them if you keep me alive.” Dipper studied him, those ember eyes wide and his fangs bared. Reminded him of some sort of angry cat who was hungry.

“…You’re begging for your life.” Dipper said suddenly. “Do it properly.”

“Pine tree…”

“Say it.”

“….” Bill looked away.

“Please.” He finally sighed out. “Please, help me out.”

Dipper mulled it over before switching the trigger off and clicking the safety back on, sighing. Dipper noted the sigh of what was obviously relief from Bill.

“We’re not making your type of deals. We’re going on my terms and only my terms. First order of business. What was the deal that landed you in the body?” Dipper tucked the gun back into his pocket and sat back down on the coffee table.

Bill didn’t answer at first. He was looking down at the blanket that covered the lower half of his body before he glared up at Dipper. “He got me to kill his family back home and made his host family forget about him. He loved America so I wiped him from the database and put him in as a certified American citizen. However, when I did the switch, I was found by the brat and he got the dropped on me. The boy’s soul is missing, so I assume he got sucked into the void. Then I was sealed into this body.” Bill explained slowly.

Dipper frowned at the words before he sighed. He nodded and scratched his head.

“I’ll need to think over the terms… You, however, need to think about how you’re going to make sure I don’t second guess my self about painting the walls with the back of your head.” Bill glared sharply but nodded.

“MABEL!” Dipper yelled out. “HE’S ALL YOURS!”

There was a loud crash sound before Mabel slammed into the room. Dipper snorted and smiled at her.

“Hurt her in any way, and you’ll wish I shot you.” Dipper warned under his breath to Bill who sharpened his glare.

“Hey there! I’m Mabel, hehe!” She giggled, coming up next to Dipper. Her brother tried not to draw attention to the fact they were now the same height. Bill glanced at Dipper who narrowed his eyes at the sight.

“Afternoon.” Bill mumbled. “I…don’t remember who I am…so sorry.” Mabel glanced at Dipper.

“Did you find the missing poster?” Mabel asked Dipper. He looked away and shook his head.

“It wasn’t there. Stan must’ve taken it down or something.” Dipper mumbled out, sighing as he stuffed his hands into his jacket’s pockets. Mabel pouted and she whined.

“Well darn.” She looked back at Bill as he cleared his throat.

“Actually, something’s coming back…You can call me William.”

While Mabel’s eyes got all starry-eyed and happy, Dipper made a cringing glare of disgust at the stupid and obvious- “OOOH! YES!! That’s great! Nice to meet you William! This is my brother, Dipper. We’re twins, obviously.”

“Nice to meet you, Mabel…Dipper.” Bill said through gritted teeth. Dipper snorted and looked away.

“Are you okay?” Mabel asked, looking over him in worry. “You look like you’re in pain.” Bill’s eyes glinted and he smiled sweetly.

“Oh, I’m fine. A little sore but I’m rather better now, knowing a gorgeous young lady helped me with my injuries. And she has such a shooting personality…” Bill purred.

Dipper had to hold his wrist back from grabbing the gun and painting the walls with Bill’s head. Especially more so when Mabel swooned and giggled, blushing.

“Ohhh, that’s so sweet! You’re very attractive yourself!” Mabel giggled, winking at him. Dipper elbowed her in the shoulder slightly and tapped his wrist band. Mabel gasped quietly and giggled in embarrassment. “Whoops! My bad!” She whispered out, her cheeks reddening.

“So, what now?” Bill asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, we find the missing posters or try to find someone who knows you. As for you, you can stay here and rest up!” Mabel smiled brightly, clapping her hands together. Bill gave her a small smile and seemed to sigh in relief.

“Thank you.” He said, scratching the back of his head. Dipper gritted his teeth.

“Mabel, do me a favor. Tell Grunkle Stan about your plan to have a house guest and see what he says. Also, family meeting tonight and he’s staying in here for now.” Dipper mumbled.

Mabel tensed slightly at the words and she looked at him with a firm stare. He looked back at her with another look. _I’ll explain later._

She sighed softly but smiled at ‘William.’ Dipper sighed, shaking his head at her. If only she knew, she wouldn’t be smiling like that.

“I’m going to check on Wendy.” Dipper stated. “Remember what I said.” Mabel nodded and Dipper headed off to the shop. His mind travelled into his deeper thoughts.

He was a little shocked that he managed to pull a _gun_ on _Bill Cipher._ He swallowed thickly and bit his cheek. Yeah, he’s fired the gun before, he’s gone through the training, he’s got the concealed weapon license.

He didn’t actually have a grudge against the demon, surprisingly. He was more looking out for his family, more than his own revenge. He could actually give less of a damn about the fact the dream Dorito was back and in action.

It wasn’t really his fault for Dipper’s problems, not really anyway. So there might’ve been a little trauma with the sock opera incident and then there had been the incidents with Stanford returning. Other than that, shortly after Stanford returned, they lost all signs of Bill.

The Interdimensional Rift or the ‘galaxy snow globe’ as Mabel so lovingly put it, had been put away with a new casing and such. Dipper was pretty proud of the work they’ve accomplished. He remembered he and Mabel having a huge fight at the end of the summer, the last summer they ever saw Bill until now.

They had a huge fight, stopped talking to each other for several days before Dipper was the first to make up with her. He barely remembered what he had given her to make her forgive him but it had worked and Mabel always swore up and down she still had the gift somewhere _._

Dipper had come the conclusion that since Bill disappeared and having a long talk with Stanford about getting a therapist for his PTSD, things have worked out in Gravity Falls for the better.

He walked into the shop, seeing it filled with people and Wendy working diligently. For once. She was back for the summer in between college duties and her other part time job at Greasey’s as a waitress.

“Need any help?” Dipper asked, sliding over to the counter and leaning against it.

“Nope, not yet. Sorry about earlier though…” Wendy answered, scratching the back of her head nervously as she rang up a customer.

“Eh, don’t sweat it. I was kind of annoyed so I snapped at you. I actually came to say I was sorry about it.” Dipper said, crossing his arms. Wendy snorted and reached over, tucking her hand under his hat and ruffling his hair.

“Eh, no worries Dipping Sauce!” She snickered, knocking his hat off. Dipper laughed, catching his hat with ease. He gave her a crooked smile and popped her cap off, making her squeak and laugh at him as she picked up her hat.

Stanford wandered in, his clothes covered in some odd substances. He stayed in the doorway for a few moments before he waved Dipper over.

“Mabel told me there’s going to be a family meeting? What’s this about?” Stanford asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Dipper bit his cheek and sighed, his eyes flickering away.

“I’ll explain during the meeting. I promise but until then, stay away from the living room. And take your medications before it, you’ll need them.” Stanford tensed at his words and he shifted nervously.

“What about yours?” Stanford asked quietly, lowering his voice due to Wendy looking at them. Dipper gave him a tired smile and patted his pocket.

“Don’t worry about that, I have them.” Dipper reassured him. Stanford nodded and sighed.

“I cannot help but worry about you, Dipper.” Stanford said quietly. Dipper laughed that off with ease.

“Hey, it’s been six months! I’m doing great! Don’t give up on me now!” Stanford glanced at the youngest Pines and took a note of how his eyes were looking at him before they darted away. Stanford laid his hand on Dipper’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze of comfort.

“I’d never give up on you, son.” Dipper grinned and a spark reentered his eyes, if only for a few seconds. He put his smaller hand over Stanford’s and squeezed back.

“I better get ready to close up the shop.” Dipper said, pulling back from the moment but he did seem happier. Stanford said nothing but nodded in agreement. He watched the youngest walk around, cleaning off things and sweeping as he urged people to buy a certain item or gave his opinion on certain items or even gave a backstory about them. After years of knowing Dipper, he always wondered just how he could do most of the things he did.

Stanford sighed and headed off back to the kitchen when he smelt the burning of the stew. That… might be a sign not to feed it to Stanley.


	2. Chapter 2

Dipper knew he was taking a huge risk, putting Bill in his bedroom instead of where he left him in the living room, but it was the risk of privacy that Dipper was willing to take. He cleared his throat as he took another sip of coffee that Stanford had made for him.

“Alright, there’s a reason why I called the meeting.” Dipper assured them, clearing his throat again. 

“There betta be kid.” Stanley sniffled, blowing another hunk of mucus into a tissue before tossing it into the nearby trashcan.

“It’s about uh… William.” Dipper said, nodding to Mabel, who smiled warmly at him as she knitted. She knew these meetings could take hours.

“Who’s William?” Stanford asked, looking a bit anxious. Dipper swallowed thickly.

“You, uh took your meds, right?” Stanford nodded. Dipper cleared his throat.

“When I was out this afternoon, I found William in the woods. There was a…uh, rift in fabric of reality. It was bleeding the dreamscape or whatever it’s called. Here.” Dipper handed Stanford his phone that had the pictures of the rift on the screen. He could see the older man visibly paling by seeing these pictures.

“What…that’s…that’s not possible…” Stanford murmured under his breath. Dipper shook his head.

“William is Bill.”

There was a hushed silence.

Mabel was the first to react. She slammed her hands on the table and stood up, glaring at Dipper with a force that Dipper hadn’t seen since her last argument with Gideon.

“Dipper Pines, how could you just jump to conclusions like that! You have no proof-!” “Mabel, breathe. I do. Calm down.” Dipper said, taking a step back.

“No, Dipper, remember what happened last time we thought Bill was back? Remember, Dipper? Cause I sure do!” Mabel snapped. Dipper flinched. “Grunkle Ford couldn’t sleep for two weeks, you had four panic attacks, Grunkle Stan had to pay the family so they wouldn’t sue a-and-!” She panted, tears pricking her eyes. Stanley put a hand on her shoulder, easing her to sit back down. She sniffled, taking an offered tissues and wiping her eyes.

Dipper looked down at his feet, trying to cool his breathing as he remembered exactly what Mabel was talking about. He swallowed thickly before trying to distract himself with a big sip of coffee, wincing as it burned his tongue and throat for being too hot.

“I-I’m sorry, I-I- ““No, Mabel, you’re right. That was a bad month, for all of us.” Stanford interrupted her, putting his hand on her shoulder before moving it to rub her back. She sniffled, looking at him and gave him a small, watery smile, which he gave her a warmer one in return. “But, let’s listen to what your brother has to say, okay?” Stanford suggested. Mabel sniffled and nodded, putting her tissue in her lap as she tried to go back to her knitting with watery eyes.

Dipper had an uncomfortable look on his face from where he was leaning against the kitchen counter. He was looking down at his shoes and coffee with a defeated and darkened look on his face.

“Whenever you’re ready, Dipper.” Stanford eased. Dipper looked up at him, tensing slightly and took a deep breath, nodding shallowly.

“A-As I was saying, I believed it was him when I saw the Rift. Who else could’ve made it, honestly? When he woke up, I confronted him and I was right about it, for once. He’s trapped in a human body and trapped here. He was kicked out from his dimension by his demon friends and landed here.” Dipper explained carefully. Mabel looked upset and Dipper knew she was thinking about last time. He sighed, she probably had grown to like ‘William’ already. That really couldn’t be helped, Mabel liked to like people.

“He’s not completely powerless, he still has some of his powers.” Dipper continued. Stanford was slightly white and Stanley looked tired.

“Then why didn’t you kill him?” Stanford whispered harshly. Mabel gave him a surprised look.

“Because he managed to give me a reason not to. He’s valuable. His friends, or whatever, kicked him out because they believed his plan would fail and went after someone else’s plan to take over our dimension. While I know that’s not much of reason to keep him alive, I went with my gut and decided he might be useful. He wants to watch them burn so he can be put back in charge.” Dipper explained, trying his best to keep his cool.

“Dipper, you know that’s not enough-! ““Grunkle Ford, please hear me out.” Dipper pleaded, giving a tired smile. Stanford grit his teeth but calmed down slightly as Stanley reached over to ease him.

“As I was saying, the main reason why is well…if we for some reason don’t succeed in kicking Bill’s plan too, then he’s going to give us immunity. The family, our friends...the whole nine yards. Plus, Bill knows these people like the back of his cane! He knows their weakness, knows their plan to their last digit. He’s useful.” Dipper said firmly.

“Dipper, don’t tell me you’re gonna make a deal with him!” Mabel suddenly shrieked out. Dipper looked away before smiling weakly at her.

“It’s not going to be a real deal. It’s my terms only. I haven’t filed them all down to a T yet but…” Dipper sighed. “I’ll let you know if I go through with it.”

“Dipper, don’t be brash or be playing the hero! We kill him now while he’s weak and then deal with the other’s plan!” Stanford urged. Dipper smiled and shook his head.

“Even if we do go with that option, we have no idea what the plan is. I’m going to talk to him. He’s my responsibility from here on out. I brought him in the house so I will be held responsible for him.” Dipper stated firmly. “Until I work out the details, no one is to hurt him in anyway…” He glanced at Mabel before rolling his eyes. “Expect in harmless pranks. Other than that, he’s a guest. Act civil!” Dipper ordered. Mabel looked worried, Stanford looked like he was going to be sick and Stanley was just sick.

“Dipper, look.” Mabel said, standing up. “Look at me.” Dipper avoided looking into her eyes. “Look at me right now before I make you look at me.” Mabel ordered, making Dipper swallow thickly. He looked at her eyes and oh, she was not happy. “I know you think this is the best option and that you should be in charge of the situation. You should play the hero. What did we talk about?” Dipper looked down again. “Dipper, please look at me and answer.”

“I shouldn’t be trying to play the hero when it can get me killed. Yeah, yeah, I remember the talks, Mabel!” Dipper suddenly snapped at her.

“Dipper, calm down.” Stanford tried but Dipper shook his head.

“You guys are always saying I should step back and let you handle it, because you’re better at it than me! Let me be the one to take responsibility for this one! It’s my fault he got in here anyway!”

“Dipper, this isn’t like a rapid dog you found and brought home. You brought in Bill Cipher into the house and you’re playing right into his hands by letting him live.” Stanford said firmly.

“Ford, stop. You’re freakin’ him out.” Stanley interrupted. Dipper had gone pale but was trying to remain stoic. “Dipper. Yeah, you brought this asshole in the house, okay. Big whoop. You think you can take care of him? You do that and you make us proud that you could kick some demon ass. Yeah, you’re not as experience as this old fart with Bill but that don’t mean you can’t do a better job of kicking his ass.” Stanley said, clearing his throat.

“Now, do I want you to take responsibility? You better bet your ass you’re going to take responsibility for bringing Ford’s worst enemy into the house. Plus, if he stayin’, he most certainly ain’t staying for free. So, when he can get off his high horse, he’s gonna work to stay here until you, and everyone else, figures out how to stop whatever apocalypse is coming. Also, you’re grounded for bringing him in the house to begin with. No TV or forest trips for two weeks.”

“But-!” “Back talk and no forest trips for a month.” Dipper popped his mouth shut.

“Ford, I know you don’t want Dipper to do this. Heck, I can see it in your eyes you don’t either. But if the kid thinks he can do it, let’em give it a shot. Just be available to help out. Don’t be a dick about it and make him feel worse for it.” Stanley grunted. Stanford didn’t answer, glaring into his cup. Mabel had stopped knitting and was looking at Stanley with wide eyes. “I’ll put money in the swear jar later.” He added. Mabel sighed before looking at Dipper.

“I believe in you, bro-bro.” She offered with a warm smile. “Just, don’t let this get to your head, okay?” Dipper nodded and looked at Stanford. He was slightly hurt that he didn’t look at him and gave a soft sigh. He looked angry.

“…Thanks, Stan, Mabel. I appreciate it.” Dipper mumbled quietly. “I’m gonna talk to him now.” The other two Pines nodded while the other just grimaced, crossing his arms and refused to look at Dipper.

Dipper took several deep breaths before leaving the kitchen and went upstairs to his room. It seemed a lot longer walk than it usually did. Dipper didn’t miss the growing dread that was pooling in his belly. When he reached the door, he found himself standing there for a little longer than needed. Dipper took a breath. Another. Remember to breathe Dipper, he reminded himself with Mabel’s voice in the back of his mind saying the exact thing.

He grabbed the handle and turned it, ignoring the cold feeling against his palm.

Dipper walked in and looked at the demon-turned-man sitting in his bed with one of Mabel’s stuffed rabbits in his hands. He looked up at Dipper when he came in before avoiding his gaze.

“So, are you ready to talk this out?” Dipper asked, pulling up a seat from the desk that use to have Mabel’s bed in its place.

“Talk what out? Your entire family wants me dead, you want me dead, they don’t want you to make a deal, you’re gonna make one anyway, drama, drama, drama…” Bill grumbled. Dipper laughed, making Bill look at him with a confused expression.

“Oh please, stop the pouting. You look like a little kid when you do that. And that’s not true, I don’t want you dead. I don’t want you _here_ but I don’t want you dead.” Dipper explained gently, keeping his voice soft.

“Aw, the Pine Tree gives a shit about little old me. Lucky lil’ ol’ me.” Bill hissed out, crossing his arms over his chest. “If it eases your stupid conscience, I feel the same.” He ignored the beaming smile.

“Well, that’s certainly interesting to learn about!” Dipper looks a bit happier, hearing that. “Anyway, Mabel seems to of taken a liking to you. She jumped to your defense, so there’s something.”

“She hates me already, I know. Cause I’m not William, I’m Bill Cipher who haunted your childhood. Good lord, humans sure hold a grudge!” Bill muttered, gritting his teeth. Dipper laughed behind his hand. “Does this seem funny to you, kid? My misery of having to go to a flesh bag’s house who I’d rather skin alive and roast on an open flame and made to _beg_ for help?” Oh, so that’s what crawled up his ass and died. Dipper shifted and gave Bill another smile.

“Look, I’d only know if you were really needing my help if you said please. Then I’d know it was a desperate situation because Bill Cipher doesn’t say please until he has too.” Dipper smirked slightly. “I didn’t mean to offend you so how about you take a breath and you tell me how the plan goes?”

Bill sneered, showing off those fangs that could probably rip through flesh. “Really? Gonna get me to talk all the plan out so you can get rid of me quickly? Nuh uh! If knowing the plan is what is keeping me alive than I am willing to withhold information.”

Dipper’s eyes narrowed. _Damn it._ He swallowed thickly and silently chastised himself for being heartless. Mabel would have been ashamed knowing her brother was going to kill the demon after getting all the information. Dipper tucked his forefinger and thumb under the sleeve of his shirt and pinched the skin there on his wrist.

“Well, I wasn’t planning on that. How about this, you tell me the first part of the plan and everyone who’s involved in it, including weaknesses?” Dipper tried to compromise. Bill seemed to like the idea by how he was relaxing slightly.

“Their plan won’t take place for another few months. I have an inside source that said with me gone, their progress has gone back several months.” Dipper noticed how smug the demon was acting and rolled his eyes.

“Grreeeatt. So when are you planning on telling me this plan?”

“When I’m good and ready for it!” Bill snapped at him. Dipper raised an eyebrow.

“Okay look, you need to give me something to tell my family.” Dipper sighed. “Or…”

“Or else what?” Bill snapped back testily. Dipper swore under his breath.

“Or I could shoot you right now. I mean, I am responsible for bringing you here so yeah.” He smirked slightly at seeing Bill tense at his words.

“What do you mean by responsible?” Bill asked slowly.

“Basically I’m the only reason why you’re alive right now and you should be acting a little more grateful and give me some information about the plan that is taking over my world to tell Stanford before he comes up here with a shotgun and SHOOTS you dead for being a useless sack of shit.” Dipper said bluntly, crossing his arms. Bill tensed and stared at him.

“You’ve changed a lot.”

“It’s been like seven years. It’s only stupid if I haven’t changed somewhat.” Dipper reasoned. Bill sighed heavily.

“Fine. I’ll give you the basic details. But I’ll only do it on one condition!” Bill said firmly.

“A deal then?”

“Sort of. More of a request and it’s not soul binding but what can I say? It’s so simple even someone with your primitive mind can do it.” Dipper ignored the insult with a roll of his eyes.

“Okay, your royal snootiness, what is it?” Dipper grinned when Bill scrunched his nose at the title.

“Bring me something to eat.” Bill muttered softly. He looked down at the blanket in his lap and seemed ashamed as his stomach growled loudly. Dipper blinked a few times before nodding firmly.

“When I come back, we can talk while you eat. Is there something in particular you want to eat?” Bill jerked his head up at Dipper and frowned angrily.

“Why aren’t you making fun of me for being human and getting hungry?” Bill snarled. Dipper tilted his head in confusion.

“Uh…it might be because I’m human too and I could give less of a shit about that seeing as you’re hungry and I’m taking care of you. So, what do you want to eat?” Dipper said, looking real tired of how paranoid and easy to snap Bill was being. Bill quieted down, however and looked away.

“Something with meat. Lots of it. With blood.” Bill was drooling slightly as he spoke and Dipper wondered to himself how many times has he rolled his eyes today.

He stood up and walked out without another word. He came back downstairs, surprised to see Stanford and Mabel still there. Stanley obviously had left to go to bed but the other two were talking in hushed voices. Dipper was instantly suspicious.

“Hey,” Dipper said as he walked in, going to the fridge. They had steak the other night and there was one uncooked left. Dipper supposed Bill could have it…

“Dipper, did you get anything out of him?” Stanford asked instantly, not even giving a greeting back. At least he was talking to him already. Mabel must’ve eased him into the idea, he thought. Dipper pulled the uncooked steak from the fridge, it still being soaked in spices and A1 sauce. He might have to steal some for himself, just the thought of it made his mouth water.

“No, he’s hungry so he won’t talk.” Dipper answered, starting up the stove. Normally, he’d do this over the grill but it was late at night and he didn’t want to go through the hassle of getting that old beat up thing running.

“And you’re gonna feed him a steak?” Mabel asked quietly as she watched her brother pulled a frying pan out.

“Well…yeah. He said he wanted some meat so I figured, might as well. Do we have any more of those frozen vegetables? I’ll make him eat those first.” Dipper said, going over to the fridge when Mabel nodded simply and opening the freezer. He pulled out the tied up bag of frozen vegetables and began preparing them.

Dipper had to admit, he had grown a fondness for cooking along the way of growing up. It relaxed him and other people seemed to enjoy his food. He wasn’t the greatest, but he could pull off a few tricks.

 “Uh, Dipper, you feeling okay? I mean, you’re cooking Bill Cipher a meal.” Mabel reminded him carefully. Dipper bit his lip as he put the uncooked steak in the pan with some oil and extra spices. He heated up the frozen vegetables in the microwave and began to set up a tray.

“Well, yeah, I feel fine. I feel good, actually. Look, I know with our history with him, he’s bad news whenever he’s mentioned or a part of it. But uh, I don’t know…I’m not really…angry at him? I guess?” Dipper shrugged as he pressed the steak against the pan.

“Dipper, have you gone crazy?” Stanford hissed. “He possessed you when you were twelve, he tried to invade my brother’s mind to get the deed to this place, he tried so many other tactics, he got me sent into another _dimension._ ” Dipper winced at the bluntness of his words.

“I know, I know, it’s just like…” Dipper sighed, his shoulders slouching. “It’s been a rough couple of years since…kinda pales in comparison to what uh happened back in California.” Dipper said quietly. “It’s not like I forgive him or anything like that, it’s just I don’t want to hold on to the past so much.”

A silence stretched out in between the Pines before Stanford sighed, running his hand through his hair.

“Remind me to tell Ley to tell your doctor to lower the prescription. You’re not thinking straight.” Dipper tensed before glaring over his shoulder.

“I am thinking straight! I just don’t see much of a point in holding onto the past so much. Plus, he can’t do anything, he’s too weak. Pretty sure I could flip him.”

“I’d pay to see that.” Mabel suddenly piped up. Dipper grinned.

“I’d do it for free if he was being a jerk.” He chuckled, making Mabel giggle while Stanford groaned softly.

“I’m setting up devil traps outside every exit in this house, including your bedroom door.” Dipper shook his head in disagreement as he flipped the steak over.

“No, he has human needs, he’ll need to leave my room to go to the bathroom. Put it on the top of the stairs.” Dipper reasoned.

“He can piss and shit in a bucket for the-!” “Grunkle Ford!” Mabel chastised with a gasp. He flushed with embarrassment as he glanced at Mabel. He cracked his jaw before hunching over his mug of coffee. “My apologies, Mabel, Dipper.” Stanford apologized gently.

“I could give less of a damn, honestly.” Dipper brushed it off, grinning at Stanford. He laughed as Mabel threw a pencil at him, batting it away.

“Why am I the only one in this house who has proper mannerisms?” Mabel huffed, crossing her arms as she stuck her nose in the air.

“Cause you got Paz’ to make you into a prissy white girl who dreams of being a mermaid princess.” Dipper replied as he went over to the microwave and pulled out the finished veggies, tossing them into a bowl and tossing the bag into the trash.

“I do not!” Mabel yelped.

“Oh please, I know you still write letters to Mermando.” Dipper scoffed.

“Uh, yeah I do cause I’m the god mother of his kids, Dipper! I got know how my little sea babies are doing!” Mabel scoffed, snapping her fingers as she spoke. Dipper rolled his eyes, chuckling as he carefully pushed the finished steak onto a plate, making sure to get all the juices to drizzle all over it.

Dipper glanced at Stanford as he finished fixing the tray of food, grabbing two cans of soda to go with it. His Grunkle was looking down into his cup, his thumbs rubbing the edges of it as he hunched over the drink, deep in thought and silent. Dipper sighed and as he took the finished tray, he patted Stanford’s shoulder as he passed by. Stanford looked up at him.

“Look, just trust me on this. Let’s just treat him like a guest who might have sticky fingers in taking things, okay? He’ll be out the house before ya know it. If he causes trouble, you know I won’t hesitate. He’s my responsibility, I’ll be the one to take him out, okay?” Dipper tried, giving Stanford a weak smile.

“When you say take him out…do you mean like, shooting or do you mean take him out on a date-?” “Mabel, please.” Dipper interrupted with a groan.

“Well, he is your type!” Mabel continued. Stanford tightened his jaw and Dipper looked nervous.

“Mabel, no he’s not.” “But-!” “Mabel please, hush.” Dipper sighed.

“I’m just checking. You say I had weird relationships when you were the one to date-” “Mabel, if you value your self-worth, don’t finish that sentence.” Mabel popped her mouth shut, knowing better.

“I have no intentions of ever courting Bill Cipher. I’m staying clear of the dating scene, especially with what happened two months ago.” Dipper reported firmly, giving Mabel a small glare when she snorted.

“You know; I’m going to find it so ironic if you do.” Mabel said.

“And then I’m going to kill Cipher as soon as I find out.” Stanford added.

“Agreed.” Dipper smirked before nodding to the both of them as he left.

 He quickly scuttled out of the room and headed back upstairs. He knocked on the door before entering, carefully balancing the tray in one hand. Bill was digging through his bedside table like a creep when he walked in.

“I brought you food, stop digging through my stuff.” Dipper said, kicking the door shut.

“Well, I’m bored as hell! I’m stuck on bedrest, you were taking too long, what else am I gonna do?” Bill snapped at him as Dipper walked over. The man sighed before picking up a solved Rubik cube from a shelf. Placing the tray in Bill’s lap, he scrambled up the Rubik cube before tossing it into Bill’s hands.

“Here, solve this.” Dipper said. Bill looked up at him like he was stupid. He believed he was stupid anyway. “Just try to get the colors all on one side, oh sir smart ass.” Dipper sighed.

Bill grumbled, setting the Rubik Cube aside to dig into his food while Dipper sat next to him in his chair, notebook and pen in hand. Well, Bill was about to dig in before Dipper stopped him.

“You have to eat your vegetables first.”

“Excuse me?” Bill demanded, his hand on the steak.

“Eat the greens, Bill. It’ll help you get better faster, I promise.” Dipper reasoned. Bill gave him a soured expression before picking up the bowl of little green trees. He sniffed the veggies before taking them back like a shot in one mouthful. Dipper tried not to snort at the expression Bill was giving as he chewed the little trees.

 Dipper made a small note in his notebook that Bill did not like broccoli.

He waited patiently till Bill swallowed and gagged before speaking.

“So, about the plan?” Dipper asked. Bill sighed as he picked up the steak with both hands, ignoring the utensils. For now, Dipper wouldn’t give him lessons in manners. He’d have Mabel deal with that. After ripping a bite from the steak, Bill answered him.

“Well, phase one won’t be happening for several months- holy shit, this is actually really good, what the fuck.” Bill looked down at the steak with amazement, making Dipper smile and write down that he does like steak. Bill cleared his throat as he swallowed.

“Thanks, made it myself. Continue.” Dipper grinned. Bill seemed uncomfortable but said nothing about why as he continued.

“Like I said, phase one won’t be happening for several months. They’re still labelling on who gets to do what. But phase one is basically looking for a sort of… vessel.”

“A vessel? Like a human?”

“Yes and no. Anyone from this time and dimension will be suitable for it. Could be human, could be a gnome or one of those dinosaurs in amber you have in the caverns. Either way, it’s a flesh suit and they need just one.” Bill said, taking another savage bite. Dipper looked at him, studying his expression as he scribbled on the paper.

“Any, uh, regulations for this vessel?” Dipper asked carefully, tilting his head to the side. Bill hummed, taking yet another bite and licking his lips with a startling long tongue to get the juices that dribbled down his chin. Dipper swallowed away his gag reflex at how gross he was being.

“Yeah, gotta be magical. Lots and lots of it and has to be able to handle it a huge amount of it.” Bill said, swallowing thickly, his Adam’s apple expanding as the hunk of meat slithered down his throat. “And they have to be able to get to the Universe Portal downstairs and run it without dealing with you rotten bags of flesh. Possibly someone you know.”

“…Jeez, that limits the suspects for it. There’s Gideon but I don’t think…no, he can’t, he’s not in Gravity Falls, he went to the South to go to college…Stanford? No, the metal plate…Can’t…” Dipper mumbled softly under his breath. “Then again, Gideon graduated two months ago and said he was coming back…”

“What, you don’t think it might be you, Pine Tree?” Bill asked with a purr in his voice. Dipper shook his head.

“I can’t do magic. The most I can do is exorcise demons and ghosts.” Dipper shrugged. “I would like to learn but the Witches in the forest don’t want to teach me. Something about my soul already tainted enough…have no idea what they’re chattering about.”

“Eh, you’re right. My best guess is Star-Eyed. You’re practically as useless as a priest against a God. But Star-Eyed? He’s had magic pumping through those thick veins of his. He may not be able to do any, but he’s our best bet.” Bill agreed with a nod. He finished off the steak and licked his fingers clean of the juices.

“Have they picked anyone?”

“No, they were still a bunch of bickering bunches of bitches when I was thrown out.” Bill sighed, shaking his head. “But my inside sources should let me know.” Dipper nodded. Bill glanced down at the paper and raised an eyebrow. “Are you drawing me, kid?”

Dipper glanced down at the paper and flushed in embarrassment.

“Whoops, that…hasn’t happened in a while, ha-ha.” Dipper laughed nervously. “I draw people when I’m thinking or talking. My bad. All well.” Dipper shrugged it off.

“Let me see.” Bill said, reached for the notebook. Dipper raised it out of his hands.

“Use the napkins to wipe your hands first.” Dipper said, pointing to the napkin on the tray. No way was he getting sticky steak sauce on his new notebook. He just bought it last week! Bill glared at him before rolling his eyes and taking the napkin, wiping his hands. After Dipper deemed his hands cleaned enough, ignoring the obvious claws for nails he had, he handed Bill the notebook.

Bill inspected the notebook, his eyes scanning over the words Dipper had written down.

“Broccoli? What the fuck is that? And how do you know I don’t like it?” Bill asked, glancing at Dipper.

“It was those little green trees that you had to eat before you could eat the steak.” Dipper answered, fiddling with his pen.

“Oh, well, honestly, I’d rather eat another type of tree.” Bill said casually, turning back to the page. Dipper blinked.

“I don’t…know why you would want to eat a tree…but okay then.” Dipper said quietly, giving Bill a weird look. He looked down at the pen he was messing with.

“Well, you draw pretty well, Pine Tree. Got this flesh sack’s basic features down pretty well. Glad you like my teeth especially…” Bill gave a fanged grin at Dipper who rolled his eyes.

“You keep showing them off as if they’re supposed to be threatening. It only makes sense I’d draw them.”

“Well, I’m flattered I can be your muse, Pine Tree.”

“Don’t know why you would be, I draw people all the time. Mabel, Wendy, Soos, Stan, Ford, Gideon, my ex’s-” Dipper named people off on his fingers as he took the notebook back.

“Whoa, whoa, the sweaty, shy, awkward Pine Tree has had relationships? And on top of that, break-ups? Do tell!” Bill said, his face lighting up in a teasing grin.

“Uh…no.” Dipper said bluntly.

“Stop shutting me down, damn it!” Bill snapped at him.

“Hell no.” Dipper grinned. Bill glared at him, crossing his arms.

They sat in silence, Dipper thumbing through a few pages of his notebook as Bill looked down at the tray mournfully.

“So, have you thought about our deal?” Bill asked suddenly, making Dipper tense. The youngest Pines sighed and nodded firmly.

“Yeah, I have.”

“What are the regulations then?” Bill asked, turning his head to Dipper with a frown. Dipper flipped to a clean page in the note book, writing his name at the top and half way down the bottom, he wrote Bill’s name.

“This is gonna take a long time.” Dipper reminded him.

“But it’s necessary.” Bill insisted. “I won’t go along with anything until someone in this house guarantees my safety during this party. And that means someone has to make a deal with me.” Dipper stared down at his notebook, frowning.

“Last time I made a deal with you, I ended up in the hospital.” Dipper murmured quietly. He wrapped his arms around himself, rubbing his shoulders. “Couldn’t sleep for a few weeks and the doctors had to give me medication to make me sleep.” Bill’s eyes rolled over Dipper’s form, frowning slightly. “Sometimes, when I do get dreams, I get nightmares about that night…expect…” Dipper shuddered violently and his breathing picked up. He started nervously bouncing his knee and he shivered again.

“Pine Tree.” Bill said quietly. Dipper looked at him with glazed-over eyes.

“First rule in the deal.” Bill began. “No possessions without permission.” Dipper blinked a few times.

“W-What-?” “Look, kid. I can tell you aren’t gonna make a deal until you feel safe from both sides. So, might as well make that part of the deal. Write it down.” Bill ordered. Dipper blinked again before swallowing thickly. He wrote down the deal, his hand writing a little shaky.

“Now, calm down. Breathe any harder and your fragile little skull will cave in due to the force of air coming from the orifices in your face.” Bill continued to fiddle with the Rubik cube, not looking at him. Dipper nodded and sighed shakily. He swallowed thickly and shuddered.

“Okay. Okay. I’m good.” Dipper said quietly.

“Good. Let’s keep going.” Bill grunted.

Dipper nodded and crossed his legs loosely. He took a deep breath to keep himself calm. Gritting his teeth and popping his jaw, Dipper looked over Bill. He noticed the demon looked deep in thought and wasn’t really focusing on the Rubik cube, mindlessly handling it but not really trying to solve it. Dipper took another breath before he finally spoke to break the silence.

“First things first, where you’re gonna be sleeping…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for your helpful comments and all the kudos you left! It really helps me keep writing this! Though I'm not entirely satisfied with the chapter, I still really enjoy writing it! Thank you again!


	3. Chapter 3

Dipper sighed as he came into the kitchen, empty tray in hand and his notebook tucked underneath his arm, pen in his ear and an irritable expression on his face.

He saw Mabel still sitting at the table, knitting rapidly. He believed she was making leggings. He looked at the clock and raised an eyebrow. It was pretty late at night, so why was she still up?

“Mabel, what are you doing?” He asked, setting the tray by the sink. She didn’t answer at first, pausing her knitting before she sighed heavily, setting it on the table.

“Talk to me.” Mabel said, pointing to the chair across from her. Dipper glanced at the chair before nodding and doing as he was told. Mabel leaned forward slightly, resting on her elbows and looked up at Dipper with hard eyes.

“You know; we could hear you debating the deal with him.” Mabel mentioned. Dipper nodded slowly, his eyes flickering down to her work. Boy, she had really gotten far. “Dipper, look at me.” He swallowed and glanced at her. “Please talk to me.” She said with a slight pleading tone to her voice.

Dipper looked down at the notebook in his hands, running his hands over the cover before he cracked it open to the middle of it with a sigh.

“What do you want to know?” He asked, placing the book on the table.

“Did you make the deal?” She asked, picking up her knitting again and trying to continue. Dipper could see her shoulders were trembling slightly.

“Not yet.” He answered. “I’m still going over the details in my head and on the paper.”

“What do you have so far?”

Dipper cleared his throat, fixing his hat.

“We talked about him living here first. No one is allowed to hurt him without a good reason. And by no one, I mean literally, no one. Not our friends, family, the whole thing. Strangers? He’s got free ground with them expect no killing. But in return for us not hurting him, he can’t hurt us expect in pranks, and vice versa.” Dipper said, staring down at his notes with hard eyes. “But if we do hurt him, he has every right to fight back, and or defend himself.”

“I guess that’s not so bad…” Mabel spoke quietly.

“Then it was about where he was sleeping.” Dipper continued. “He’ll be sleeping in my room and in my bed so I can keep an eye on him.” He looked up at Mabel when she made a small noise of disapproval at that.

“Dipper…” She protested.

“Mabel, it’s easier this way. Plus, apparently my room smells better than most of the rooms in the house.” Dipper said. Mabel scoffed.

“Your room smells like dirty laundry, the woods, and old books.” Mabel snorted.

“Your room smells like glitter, hair products, perfume and glue.” Dipper shot back. Mabel gasped in an offended tone. “Yeah, I said it. It still smells like glitter.”

“Dipper, how could you! You can’t smell glitter!” She yelled in an overly offended tone.

“Fine, it smells like Waddles.”

“Well, he does sleeps in there.” She reasoned. Dipper just snorted and she did too, giggling. “Keep going. So far, so good.”

“Seeing as Stanford doesn’t want him to leave the house, I’m basically his chaperone around town or the woods if he ever wants to leave. In return, Stanford can’t set up Devil’s traps that won’t let him leave the house.” Dipper continued. Mabel nodded slowly. “Then there’s about him working for us in the Shack. He either has to do my old chores or work the front but that’s up to Stanley really. Of course, he wanted money for it so he’s working half the price Wendy is now.” Dipper smirked when Mabel scrunched up her nose slightly.

“I guess that’s reasonable. Stanley will probably want him to pay rent though.” Mabel commented.

“We agreed he doesn’t have to because he’s working here and giving us information.” Dipper shrugged. “It was either him paying rent or he will turn the information into vague riddles and you know how much I hate those.”

“I guess you’re right. Stanley won’t like it though.” Dipper shrugged at that.

“He’ll have to learn to deal with it this time. Anyway, we had a sort of argument and I almost shot him, he almost set me on fire so, yeah, that’s a thing. Also, if Stanford lets you redress his injuries then he wants to know when he’s allowed to get out of my room to work.” Dipper continued. “And then we had another argument and it ended in a wager that may or may not change everything in the end so, hahaha…” Dipper laughed nervously. Mabel stopped knitting and stared up at Dipper with worry.

“What did you do?” Mabel asked in a meek voice.

“I may or may not of betted that I could hide the Interdimensional Rift so well that even if I gave Bill a week to find it, he wouldn’t find it. And we ended up making a wager that when we defeat the bad guy, then Bill has a week to find the Rift and if he doesn’t find it, he can’t try to get it again for five years. And if he does find it, he gets eight months to the second to do whatever he wants without us interfering.

But during that time, if his friends try to hurt our family or friends at all, we are free to interfere, he has to give us some major weakness of his friends, several free shots to hit him and no vague crap. “Dipper explained. Mabel pinched the bridge of her nose and groaned.

“Dipper…”

“Mabel, trust me, I’ll win.” Dipper said, waving her off slightly. She sighed.

“Dipper, you’re playing into his hands.”

“No, I’m being smart. I promise, cross my heart, that he won’t find the Rift after we defeat the bad guys.” Dipper said, smiling gently. “I have a plan.” Mabel sighed.

“I trust you, Dipper. You better keep this promise or Stanford will have your head.” Mabel mumbled, sighing as she shook her head. Dipper laughed softly.

“Oh, if I lose, then I’ll lose more than that!” Dipper laughed out. He sighed and looked down at the notebook. Mabel looked at him, eyes filled with worry.

“You know, I could-!” “Mabel, I know what you’re gonna say. Please. Just let me do this, okay?” Dipper interrupted, not even looking at her. Mabel looked down at her knitting, frowning before sighing.

“Fine but just…just please talk to me if you need help.” Mabel said quietly. Dipper smiled lazily but nodded firmly.

They both stopped talking when they heard someone walking down the stairs. They looked at each other and looked at the opened doorway.

Dipper groaned as Bill flopped his way ungracefully into the kitchen, closing his notebook. Mabel’s eyes bulged slightly when she saw him and her face turned bright red. She covered her eyes and started shrieking. Dipper raised an eyebrow before quickly realizing why.

Bill was still wearing his shredded blood-splashed clothes. And they were ripped to Hell and back, especially on his pants, much more than needed. Dipper felt his face grow hot as he yanked off his jacket.

“Jesus, I know you haven’t been a human in a few years but for Gods’ sake, cover yourself!” Dipper spat out as he chunked it over Bill’s exposed junk. Bill let out a weird noise and caught the jacket, wrapping it around his waist, tying the arms of it behind him like an apron.

“I don’t have any other clothes, Pine Tree!” Bill whined as he covered himself. Dipper just shook his head.

“You could’ve tucked yourself in at least!” Dipper argued.

“There wasn’t enough room!” Bill continued but not without a tone and a smile that was way too smug.

“Bill, shut up!” Mabel chastised as she uncovered her face when she was sure he was covered.

“What?!” Bill mocked. “You two are old enough to hear about that sort of thing!” Bill cackled out, laughing way too loudly.

“Doesn’t mean I want to hear it!” Mabel shrieked back at him, her face dark red. Bill clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes.

“What are you doing out here? Stanford will kill you if he sees you!” Dipper growled out, hitting his hand on the table. Bill pouted and tilted his head to the side.

“I got hungry again…” Bill shrugged with a whine in his voice. “Feed me, Pine Tree.”

“Did you ignore what I said about Ford killing you or are you deaf?” Dipper hissed out, gritting his teeth.

“No, I just chose not to acknowledge it.” Bill answered, limping over to the fridge. Mabel noticed and looked slightly worried.

“That’s what ignoring means, you doofus!” Mabel said.

“Oh, then yes. I was ignoring you.” Bill said, clicking his tongue as he hid away into the fridge, moving stuff around. Dipper pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to avoid the headache.

“Okay, Bill, look. If you’re gonna be living with us, you gotta listen to me.” Dipper said. Bill shook his head as he pulled out a can of Pitt.

“I don’t have to listen to anyone until we make a deal, Pine Tree! Until then- ““Until then, you better act like the most appealing son of a bitch in the world or else I won’t be making squat of a deal and you hit the road, ass.” Dipper spat out coldly.  Bill blinked as he popped the can open and took a big swing of soda before swallowing thickly.

“Okay, okay. Fair enough.” Bill allowed after a few moments of silence. Suddenly, he belched loudly and gagged, slamming the can on the counter and covering his nose, gagging. “AH FUCK! It’s going through and burning the two sniffy holes!” Bill snarled

Mabel started laughing, shaking her head as she began tying the leggings off, having finished it during the conversation.

“Another order done!” Mabel exclaimed proudly, making Dipper smile at her. Bill raised an eyebrow as he rubbed his nose, picking up his drink again to take another large sip.

“Order?” Bill asked, looking a bit confused. Mabel smiled proudly, puffing out her chest.

“I have a following on Esty! People love my clothes! I also sell some on the Mystery Shack website.” She grinned cockily, whipping her hair over her shoulder.

“You sell them?” Bill asked. Mabel nodded. “Why?”

“Cause it’s something I love to do so I made a small job out of it. It’s not the only thing I do but it pays decently and I love to do it.” Mabel answered, looking proud of herself.

Bill hummed, looking thoughtful before he turned to Dipper. “Make me a sandwich, Pine Tree.” He ordered. Dipper scowled and his face went hot.

“Excuse you!” Dipper snarled. “I’m not some housewife!”

“I never said you were. Just feed me, Pine Tree.” Bill ordered firmly, holding his stomach as it growled angrily at them. Mabel waved her brother off before he could say anything

“Breathe, Dipper. I’ll make him something to eat. Just calm down.” Mabel eased him gently, standing up as she folded her finished leggings neatly on the table and walked over to the fridge, pulling out a bunch of different things. Bill hobbled over to her seat and sat down in it, quietly groaning in pain. Bill sighed softly and leaned forward, grinning at Dipper.

“So, Pine Tree. Shooting Star does something new, what do you do now?” He asked, grinning sharply in Dipper’s direction as he leaned forward more and rested his elbows on the table, tucking his hands under his chin. Dipper simply sighed and rolled his eyes.

“I do lots of things.” He answered, opening his notebook and pulled his pen from behind his ear. He started scribbling in boredom, or tried to seem bored.

“Ooooh, someone’s being a little Vague Victor about this.” Bill hummed, tilting his head to the side and brushing his hair out of his eyes.

“Well, I have my fingers in a lots of different pies. There’s a lot I could talk about…” Dipper replied, shrugging.

“Just name something.” Bill insisted.

“Well, I’ve written a couple of books.” Dipper finally relented, avoiding eye contact and bowing his head. He crossed his arms slightly as he leaned over the table, focusing on his scribbles. His ears were growing hot and he bit his cheek.

“Oh, really? How many? What are they about?” Bill questioned further. Mabel was chopping something and she was looking at Bill over her shoulder every once a while, looking confused.

“Three and working on the fourth. The first one was about my first summer here. The second and third were mystery novels I came up with.” Dipper answered, his scribbling getting harder and rougher.

“And the fourth?”

“It’s a work in progress.” Dipper answered and winced. He answered too quickly.

“Come on, Pine Tree. It’s gonna be public someday anyway. Tell me about it! Are you growing shy? I thought you had grown in some needles when you pulled out that gun during that little fight we had upstairs.” Bill purred.

“Wait, whoa, whoa…” Mabel said, stopping her chopping and pointing her large knife at Dipper. “You pulled the gun on him?”

“Twice.” Bill added with a smirk. “First time, I could justify. Second time, oooh, who knew it was so easy to get up under that skin on yours, Pine Tree.” Dipper scoffed in an overly offended manner.

“Uh, in case you forgot, you attacked me first!” Dipper snapped at him.

“You were being disrespectful and rude!” Bill shot back, his gaze turning sharp.

“You were being too invasive and not taking care of your vessel!”

“You were the one who made that weird comment! Which, Shooting Star, I’d like to ask about!” Mabel was watching the back and forth of these two weirdos before Bill directed his attention to her.

“Ask her about it and I’ll flip this table into your face!” Dipper suddenly snarled. Mabel and Bill both tensed at the darker tone before Mabel put her knife down and clapped her hands.

“Okay, okay boys. Easy now. No need for throwing furniture. Dipper, is the question one of those questions where you don’t want me to worry?” Dipper turned his head away from her, crossing his arms. She sighed. “Bill, what is it?” She asked as she turned around, continuing the chopping.

“How long has Pine Tree gone without eating?” Dipper froze as a cold chill went up his spine. Mabel’s knife clattered to the counter before bouncing off onto the floor. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye and winced. She was looking at him.

“Dipper. Why is he asking that?” Mabel asked quietly. Dipper tightened his arms over his chest, keeping his gaze away. He knew Bill was grinning. Asshole.

“I made the off comment about how I don’t eat sometimes and he got curious.” Dipper finally explained. Mabel knelt down and got the knife, resuming her chopping.

“And what brought that up?”

“Bill has eaten in three weeks!” Mabel stabbed the cutting board before rushing over and almost knocking Bill out of his chair with her force.

“You haven’t eaten in three weeks! No wonder you’re hungry! Oh, you poor baby! Don’t you worry, Mabel will get you so stuffed, you’ll be the new Waddles!” She shrieked, squishing Bill’s cheeks. He glared at Dipper who was looking smug and grumbled something as Mabel returned and finished the cutting and put a bowl before rushing over to the fridge.

“Look, kid, just cause my vessel hasn’t eaten in a while, doesn’t mean it’ll die from it. My energy and magic will provide enough life sustaining energy to bring a dinosaur’s skeleton back from the dead if I channeled it well enough.” Bill said, brushing off his tattered clothes.

“But wouldn’t it be better to eat something?  I mean you are trapped in that human body.” Dipper reminded him carefully. “I don’t think you can do that without draining some of your energy.”

“Kid, I am a being of pure energy. I’m not gonna run out.” Bill snipped, crossing his arms over his chest and sticking his nose up. Dipper only stared with an unimpressed gaze.

“You WERE a being a pure energy. Now you’re stuck in that body with no way out. No way to get power. No way to recharge. All that’s inside you is a reserve of magic and your soul, if you want to call it that. If you’re not taking care of your body, you could die from that or at least your body will start failing you. You use your magic up for that, then when you need it the most, it isn’t there to work.” Dipper reasoned. Bill frowned at him, eyeing the youngest Pines in disapproval before gritting his teeth, straightening his jaw.

“Don’t tell me it doesn’t feel different. Like there’s not that much power to it anymore. Like you’re burning out. You have a small reserve, probably. You’ll need to save it, until we can see if you can regain it again.” Dipper said, tapping his fingers on the table.

“Dipper’s right, Bill. Besides, I think you’ll like human food! There’s so many things that with just a little bit of seasoning, can taste so different! So many flavors and you could enjoy all the different types! I have a feeling you’d like hot food, you spicy Dorito.” Mabel giggled, nodding to Bill.

Bill glanced over to her, watching her move back and forth between the stove, counter and spice cabinet. His sharp eyes followed her about and Dipper saw a look he had seen too many times. He leaned under the table and slammed his foot onto Bill’s. The demon yelped.

Mabel jerked around, staring at them. Dipper smiled at her innocently, shrugging as Bill clutched his foot, groaning, growling and whining. Before Mabel could get a word out, Dipper waved and cut her off.

“Trust me, he deserved it.” Dipper said simply. Mabel blinked before she shrugged and turned around to continue the cooking. Dipper’s stomach grumbled softly as the scents of a familiar dish made his mouth water.

“You’re gonna believe him?! I didn’t even say anything!” Bill snarled angrily. Mabel shrugged.

“I believe him more than I’d believe you. He is my brother, after all.” Mabel chirped cheerfully, not even looking at Bill.

“HA!”

“Doesn’t mean I’ll allow you to beat him up all the time, Bro-Bro. You forget which kid Mom allowed to take Kudo lessons~!” Mabel singed out, grinning over her shoulder.

“That’s only because Grunkle Stan wanted me to take boxing and you sucked up to him to convince Mom!” Dipper said, glaring at her back.

“Me, sucking up? Now why would lil’ old me do such a terrible thing?” Mabel cooed, twirling around to face Dipper, cupping her cheeks and giving him an innocent kicked puppy gaze. Which would be cuter if she didn’t have a giant knife with a tomato sliding down the blade.

Dipper scoffed and Bill stuck his tongue out at him, sniggering like the smug prick he always was. Dipper scolded and rolled his eyes.

Mabel scrapped the finished meal onto a plate and walked over rather gracefully and depositing a plate in front of Bill and another in front of Dipper who looked up at her confused.

“Mabel, I- ““You didn’t eat dinner. Eat this right now or I’ll shove some of Grunkle Ford’s experiment foods with a pound of glitter down your throat so fast, you’ll be blowing glitter through your nose for weeks.” Mabel said with a smile, giggling. Dipper swallowed thickly under her staring gaze before shooting Bill a glare for talking about it.

“What is this, exactly?” Bill asked, poking the dish with a fork uncertainly. Dipper looked down at his plate before smiling brightly.

“Oh man, oh man, taco pie? Geez, Mabel, how’d you make it so fast?” Dipper asked. Mabel beamed at him as she grabbed a bowl of tortilla chips from the counter and set it in between them.

“Well, there was some leftover ground beef cooked already so I just used that and everything else we got in the fridge. Used a bit of Mabel magic and boom! There ya go!” She giggled as she sat down in between them. Dipper grinned and leaned over, grabbing a handful of chips while Bill still stared down at his food with confusion.

“Get some chips.” Mabel instructed him gently. He eyed her for a moment before doing as he was told, scattering the chips a bit haphazardly over his place. “Now scoop up some of the pie, using a chip and eat it.” Bill did so, popping the chip into his mouth. His eyes widen and Mabel beamed proudly as he eagerly dug into the food.

“Pretty good, right?” Mabel giggled. Bill glanced at her with a mouthful. He chewed for a while before swallowing thickly and wiping away the juice running down his chin.

“I guess…” Bill shrugged, looking away as Mabel snickered.

“Can I have some more?” Dipper asked eagerly, pushing his plate over to Mabel. Bill stared at him with wide eyes. Mabel just smiled, sweet as can be, taking the plate and getting up.

“Of course.” Mabel answered as she set up the next plate. Bill swallowed thickly.

“Jeez, Pine Tree was certainly hungry.” Bill commented. Dipper shrugged, rolling his eyes.

“When Dipper eats there won’t be anything left! He could eat a horse if given the chance!” Mabel giggled as she scooped a big helping onto the plate.

“I have, actually. Not bad.” Dipper added. Mabel giggled while Bill snorted, shaking his head.

“Can I have some more too, Shooting Star? The meat bag likes being fed and this meal of millions of atoms seem to give some sort of satisfaction.” Bill said quietly, not looking her in the eyes as he scooted his plate in her direction. Mabel smiled bright, puffing her chest out slightly in pride as she walked over and setting Dipper’s plate in front of him. She picked up Bill’s plate and gave him a smile, despite him not looking directly at her.

Dipper glanced at Mabel with a disapproving gaze but said nothing as he stabbed into his food, grabbing more chips. Mabel went back over to the counter and fixed Bill another plate. While she did that, Dipper picked up another chip from the bowl. He eyed it, noticing it being an almost perfect triangle. He flickered his gaze back to Bill who was staring off in the distance but still in his general direction.

Dipper waved the chip at him, gaining Bill’s attention with ease. He turned his gaze to Mabel’s back and nodded to her back. Bill followed his gaze before looking back at him with confusion. Dipper stared at him hard, almost glaring with a frown. Bill blinked owlishly before he registered what Dipper was implying and smirked smugly.

Dipper helped up the chip. He glanced back and forth between the chip and Bill. He gave Bill a look before chomping off half the chip so suddenly, it made Bill jump. The demon paled and swallowed thickly before crossing his arms over his chest and tried to act like he wasn’t affected.

As Dipper finished the chip, he grabbed his notebook and flipped it to a new page, pulling his pen from behind his ear and scribbled out messily,

_While Cipher has been thought of as a fearful being, void of every emotion expect chaos and anger, when he is stuck in the human body he wears what could be what we call a heart upon his sleeve, tattered as both maybe. Even a simple threat can make his face go pale and expose how much he feels when they are made. It may just because what we threaten can actually happen to him because of the weaker, physical body. Perhaps this will make things easier while leaving with him._

Dipper looked up when Mabel set down Bill’s second helped. He leaned forward, putting his foot over Bill’s, giving him a look. Bill glanced at him.

Dipper mouthed to him to say thank you. Bill’s eyebrows furrowed together and he tightened his jaw. Dipper sighed, frowning as he dug the hell of his boot into Bill’s toes, making the demon let out a high pitched sound.

“T-Thanks, Shooting Star!” Bill squeaked out, his voice cracking at the high pitch he was using. She blinked almost owlishly at him before glancing at Dipper who nodded to urge her on. She pulled another smile at Bill, trying to show encouragement for saying that.

“You’re welcome, Bill.” She replied cheerfully. Bill sighed as his toes were released from the death trap of Dipper’s combat boots. He glared at the youngest in the room rather hatefully as he rubbed his foot, all while the kid smiled smugly as he ate. Bill didn’t say anything as he started eating again so they sat in silence while Mabel cleaned up her mess, humming to get rid of the deafening and tense silence behind her.

Dipper was staring at Bill from under his eyelashes as he ate. He could see the wheels turning in the demon’s head as he stared thoughtfully into the sour cream.

“So kid!” Bill suddenly said, making Dipper look up at him, slightly startled. “About that deal…” Bill hummed, swiping some of the sour cream onto his finger and bringing it to his lips with curiosity in his eyes. He didn’t seem to dislike it when he got more and Dipper scribbled down that Bill might like sour cream.

“We’ll talk about it later, Bill.” Dipper said.

“No, no, no, we need to talk about it now.” Bill insisted. Dipper frowned, narrowing his eyes away from his notebook. Bill was looked smug and Dipper pulled the notebook closer to scribbled another entry.

After he was done, he looked up at Bill with lidded eyes, leaning forward slightly.

“Fine, fine.” He relented as he ripped out the pages he had been writing in the past few minutes. He slides the notebook across the table to him.

“Do you agree with everything in the notebook?” Dipper asked as Bill chewed another mouthful thoughtfully. He watched him flip through the pages, one by one, piercing ember eyes scanning over each line carefully.

“What’s with this part about protecting you from harm? I’m the one you need protection from, kid. I don’t do babysitting.” Bill said, slamming the notebook on the table.

“I protect you from my family from blowing your brains out, you protect me from anything else.” Dipper answered rather smugly. “Your so called friends will eventually figure it out that you’re working with us. My family’s protection and my protection needs to be guaranteed during this deal. Any means necessary, short of killing a human being.”

“The whole nine yards then?” Bill grunted out, looking displeased.

“Just physically and mentally.” Dipper said. “Emotional pain isn’t something that seems like your area. Don’t work too hard on the mental part though. There are things in here that even you can’t fix.” Dipper said, tapping his temple. Bill looked a bit shocked at his words and maybe irritated.

“Kid, what do I get out of protecting everybody?” Bill asked, gritting his teeth. Dipper thought it over before glancing up at Bill, leaning on his elbows as he pushed his empty plate out of the way.

“What do you want?” Bill’s smirk unnerved him. Dipper knew that’s what he was working for but it made him a little uncomfortable knowing it worked.

“Hmm…the rebuilding of the- ““Out of the question.” Dipper interrupted. He knew that Mabel was listening. “Then possession of- ““Not happening.” Bill was already look frustrated but Dipper remained stoic and unreadable as well as he could be.

Bill gritted his fangs and glared.

“Fine! How about whenever your precious little family’s in trouble, I’m in charge of the situation so I can get all their useless asses to safety!” Bill spat venomously.” Also, I want three days added to me finding that damn Rift and another month added to me doing anything I want if I get it!”

“Fifteen days added.”

“Twenty-five!”

“Twenty.”

“FINE, BUT!” Bill snarled, slamming his hands on the table and standing, knocking the chair back. “I want a binding deal!” Dipper blinked.

“Excuse me?”

“A binding deal. Jeeze kid, you went through all this trouble but you didn’t think to research different deals? A binding deal is basically a long-term deal. It guarantees protection for both parties, yours being meaningless about other things while mine is with Sixer. I’ll know when you’re in trouble or in pain, you’ll know the same if not a little more.”

“…Okay.” Dipper allowed.

“Dipper, bro-bro, wait…” Mabel said gently, looking at him nervously. Bill’s eyes narrowed at her voice. “How about you two hold it off until tomorrow? Maybe do a little more research and thinking about these things?”

“Mabel…” Dipper sighed.

“Dip-dop please- ““Hush, Shooting Star. The adults are talking.” Bill suddenly spat, snapping his fingers at her. Her voice went silent as she tried to talk but no sound came out. Dipper’s eyes widen and he jerked his head at Bill. He got up, glaring at Bill.

“Undo it. Right now.” He demanded.

“Make the deal!” Bill hummed, leaning across the table.

“Undo it, Cipher!”

“Come on, Pine Tree! The deal!” Bill sang, holding his hand out. Dipper looked at Mabel before looking at Bill. He hesitantly readied his hand before he blinked.

“Bill. Undo it, right now.” He demanded again, holding his hand back and stuffing it into his pocket. His eyes widen. What…where?

“Looking for something, Pine Tree?” Bill hummed, pulling out the gun from his jacket pocket. Shit. Dipper’s face felt cold. He was twirling the gun carelessly.

“Oh, you crafty son of a bitch.” Dipper grounded out, clenching his jaw.

“So sweet. You sure know how to flatter me, kid.” Bill cooed, putting a hand over his heart. “Now, the deal. Or…I could try out what you’ve been threatening to me on Shooting Star…or you…” Bill hummed, switching the safety off before Dipper could bite back.

“Fine, fine! I’ll take the deal, just don’t…don’t hurt her…” Dipper said, putting his hands up. He held a hand out to Bill. The demon’s eyes flickered down before he smiled manically.

“Glad you saw it my way, kid!” Bill said, reaching for his hand. Mabel’s eyes widen as she collapsed onto her knees, mouthing no over and over.

Dipper didn’t blink as he grabbed Bill’s wrist and pulled the demon across the table, knocking over the dishes as he dragged the demon through and slammed him onto the tile floor on his stomach. Hand bend behind his back and slammed a booted foot on his wrist, making him drop the gun.

“C-Clever.” Bill coughed, trying to cover the fact that he had the wind knocked out of him.

Dipper kicked the gun to Mabel who quickly picked it up, flicking the safety back on and let out a breathy sigh of relief.

“Okay…” Dipper breathed. He pulled himself from the demon, then pulled him to his feet. Bill glared at him, rubbing his wrist. “I’ll make the deal.” Bill looked up at him startled. “What? I wasn’t going to let you hold onto that gun. You probably would’ve shot her regardless.” Dipper scoffed.

“You were gonna make the deal anyway?” Bill hissed.

“If you still want to.” Dipper shrugged. “That or hit the road, bud.”

“Just take my hand, you fucking pile of meat and shit.” Bill spat, jerking his uninjured hand towards the human. Dipper took the hand and blue fire erupted from their hands. Dipper groaned as the fire traveled up to his forearm and he felt a stinging sensation on the nap of his neck. Bill must’ve felt the same because he rubbed his neck as they pulled their hands away.

Bill snapped his fingers and Mabel got up, tears running down her cheeks.

She then punched her brother as hard as she could.

“You’re an idiot!” She screamed at him. “You should’ve waited! You didn’t have to make it now! Do more research! That’s what you do best!” Mabel cried as Dipper rubbed his jaw, making sure she hadn’t broken it first before he pulled her in a hug, hushing her as she wrapped her arms around him. She kept mumbling he was stupid which he agreed to calm her down.

“While you two have your sickening sibling moment, I’m gonna drink all the soda in the fridge.” Bill chuckled, limping over.

“Drink my soda and I’m gonna shoot you in the foot.” Mabel hissed over her shoulder. “Toe. By. Toe.” Bill stopped short before crossing his arms and huffing.

“Stupid brats.” He grunted.

Mabel pulled away, wiping her eyes before glaring at Bill.

“You- ““Mabel, it’s okay.” Dipper said, putting his hands on her shoulders. “It’s okay. Who are we?” She looked at him before her lower lip quivering.

“Pines…”

“Who are we?” Dipper asked, raising his voice. Mabel grinned weakly.

“We’re Pines!” She giggled as Dipper smiled. “We can get through anything!”

“Darn right. Now…” He looked at the mess he had made before looking at her. “Not it.” She groaned, stomping her foot. “I’ll take your shift tomorrow, okay?” She sighed, rolling her eyes.

“Fine. But you have to go to sleep.” Dipper grinned and nodded. “Take him with you.”  She nodded towards Bill who was pouting.

“Let’s go, Dorito king. Time for bed.” Dipper said, still smiling.

“Excuse me?”

“Bed time. Let’s go.” Dipper repeated. Bill stared at him before rolling his eyes.

“Whatever.” Bill grunted as he left the kitchen, stomping his way through the house. Mabel looked at Dipper with worried eyes.

“Are you sure about all this? Grunkle Ford could find something to break the deal…you don’t have to deal with this by yourself.”  Mabel said softly, taking Dipper’s hands in hers.

“It’ll be okay. I know what I’m doing.” Dipper assured her.

“Dipper, just…” She sighed, closing her eyes. “Don’t be stupid. Please don’t try to do this all by yourself. I don’t to have another…” She trailed off and Dipper’s smile was forced now.

“Don’t worry so much. I’m getting better, I promise.” He pulled his hands away and stepped away. “I’m going to make sure he’s not messing up my stuff. Night Mabel.”

“Night-night bro-bro.” She cooed softly. Dipper walked out of the kitchen and as soon as he was out, his smile dropped. He felt eyes on him and saw Bill waiting for him. Bill didn’t say anything as he turned away and headed up stairs. Dipper followed him, stuffing his gun in his pants.

He felt a heavy presence on his shoulders. When he saw Bill looking at him over his shoulder, he felt maybe Mabel was right.

With that grin on Bill’s face, he was already believing that she was.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mabel offers us a musical insert from my current favorite musical Legally Blonde and they buy stuff.
> 
> sorry this took so long, a lot of stuff came up but this should be a pretty long chapter  
> hope you enjoy!

Dipper just knew when he woke up, face first in a blanket and on the floor with a foot shoved up against his ass, it was just gonna be one of those days.

He pulled his face from the blanket and floor, wiping the drool from his chin and carefully untangled and pulled his legs from the bed, wincing and groaning softly at the stiffness in them. He pulled himself to his feet, slightly unsteady, and glanced at his bed with a disapproving frown. Bill was sprawled out in the middle of it, limbs bent in strange positions and drooling on his pillow. Dipper made another face.

Now that he thought about it, Dipper should’ve expected this from the dream demon. He wished that Mabel’s old bed was still in here so he could’ve just stuffed Bill in it but they had gotten rid of it years back after Mabel switched rooms, especially after the incident that they have started to call ‘Glitter Pig Mug Scare.’

Dipper leaned over the bed, flicking the demon’s sharp nose several times before the demon groaned awake. Bill cracked an eye at him, glaring weakly at the human.

“Up and at’em, Cipher. Time to get up.” Dipper said, smiling lazily. Bill glared harder at him before hissing loudly and turned over to curl up under the covers. Dipper sighed, shaking his head. He yanked the bed covers off. Tugged on the tank top he had given Bill to sleep in. Flicked his ear. Almost lost a finger at that. He looked around, frowning more and more before spotting the glass of water he kept by his bed. He grinned, noticing that he had pulled up the tank top pretty far up his back, exposing him.

Dipper picked up the glass and slowly drizzled water on Bill’s exposed skin. Shrieks, hissing and snarls came as Bill darted about every which way before collapsing off the bed at Dipper’s feet with a loud shriek. Dipper stepped back a few feet as he drank the rest of the water to ease his dry throat and also hiding his smug grin.

“Kid, I swear you are testing every little pinch of patience I have, every chance you get and now I swear on the Eldritch gods above that I will get back at you for every little shit thing you’ve done to me and you will pay for it and it will be painful.” Bill growled from his place on the floor, glaring up at Dipper.

“Yeah, yeah. When you pull yourself out of your ass, meet me in the bathroom down the hall.” Dipper said as he set the empty glass back down and walked out.

…

 

“What are you doing?” Bill asked after a good ten minutes, poking his head into the bathroom. Dipper mumbled, holding up a finger, telling Bill to wait. He spat the toothpaste foam into the sink and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Brushing my teeth.” Dipper answered, spitting out another wad of foam.

“For what?”

“So, my teeth don’t rot out of my skull and don’t look like someone pissed in my mouth.” Dipper answered. Bill stood there in the doorway silently for a bit before coming over to stand beside Dipper and look in the mirror. “It also helps with bad breath.” Dipper added.

Bill opened his mouth to reveal the sharp but grossly yellow teeth and Dipper’s eyebrows furrowed together as he put his toothbrush in his mouth.

“Jeez, did the guy before you ever brush? Your mouth is disgusting.” Dipper grumbled. Bill popped his mouth closed and glared at him. Dipper opened the mirror’s medicine cabinet, pushing aside many bottles of pills and pulled out a pill organizer and an extra tooth brush. He ripped open the package of the tooth brush and handed it to Bill.

“Here, put it under the water and put some toothpaste on it.” Dipper said, handing Bill the tube of toothpaste. Bill looked down at the toothbrush before sighing and doing as he’s told. Bill squeezed toothpaste carefully onto the brush and pushed it into the bristles, wiping his hand on a towel. He watched Dipper brush his teeth for a few moments before copying.

“Just don’t swallow the toothpaste and try to get all the yellow gunk off your teeth.” Dipper warned, watching him in the mirror, scooting to the side slightly to let Bill see. He ignored the fact that the demon was taller than him. Dipper only came up to his shoulders but he refused to acknowledge it out loud. Ever. He’d sock the first person who did, right in the jaw.

Bill put his other hand on the edge of the sink, leaning forward slightly, trying to scrub his teeth like a jackhammer. Dipper caught his arm, shaking his head and showed him how to do it properly. Bill blinked several times, staring at him before copying him properly. His eyebrows scrunched together, his right hand twisting oddly. He switched to his left hand and he seemed to have better control.

Dipper spat out the paste foam and Bill copied him yet again. Dipper didn’t bother asking why Bill was copying him, figuring it was a way of learning. He also chose to ignore that Bill has spit out more blood than toothpaste foam. Sensitive gums, he guessed, from a lack of good dental care. He took one of the paper cups on the sink and filled it with water, handing it to Bill.

“Don’t swallow, just push the water through your teeth and then spit it out.” Bill stared at the cup with a suspicious gaze before doing as he was told while Dipper did the same with another cup. They both spat the water out and tossed the cups in the trash. Dipper cleaned up as Bill watched with wide eyes, either judging or just watching his movements.

“Why are you shaking?” Bill asked as Dipper grabbed the pill organizer off the side of the sink. Dipper glanced down at his arms and snorted.

“Not sure.” Dipper answered as he popped open that day and popped the pills into his mouth with a splash of water. “Probably just really hungry. It happens.” Bill frowned in response and squinted suspiciously at Dipper.

“Ugh, you are so aggravating.” Bill grumbled, rubbing his temples. Dipper raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, why? I haven’t done anything yet.” Dipper asked as he washed his hands.

“Because…because, you humans don’t understand how maddening your own actions are. Just doing these things make me feel weaker than a twig.” Bill snapped, flinging his hands into the air. Dipper’s eyebrow raised further.

“Brushing your teeth makes you feel weak?” Dipper asked, trying not to smile.

“Yes! I was an all-powerful omnipotent being with no weakness! Now I’ve been dragged down to this petite flesh-prison of a form that is only comparable to that of an insect! Gods be damned to the furthest rings of the void!” Bill continued to snarl as Dipper stared at him from the mirror, watching the other pace back and forth behind him. Dipper dried his hands off on a towel, hiding a smile by ducking his head.

“For fuck’s sake, where did I go wrong? I had the plan, I had the friends, I had the _power_ , I had the charisma to fuck anyone over easily, I could’ve been a God! God of your universe! And no, the God you’re thinking about doesn’t exist! I shouldn’t need to piss and shit like a devolving  organism with icky things like _feelings!”_

“Humans don’t understand a god damn thing about having omnipotence and how hard it is to cope without it once you lose it. I could destroy your mind with just a flick of my cane, which I want back! I’ve risen and destroyed empires, brought the greatest minds ever to exist up into the stars and forged them into your history and shot them all down into the mud and slaughtered them like dogs. And now I’m stuck in a meaty flesh prison who I could’ve been cooking like a bacon trip and stuck in a sweaty, dumbass’s shitting room and doing domestic shit! Fuck!!!” Bill sat down against the wall, covering his face in arms as he leaned his head between his knees.

“Let me guess---you need to take a shit and you don’t know how to ask me to leave?” Dipper asked as he finished washing his face and drying off. Dipper smirked when he heard the meek “Yes.” Before he turned off the water. “Yeah, Mabel gets annoyed when she needs to go too. Take your time, kay? Make sure you wipe yourself, you piece of shit.” Dipper busted out laughing as he walked out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

Mabel was standing in the hallway when he came out, her hair frazzled everywhere and wrapped up in the biggest, fluffiest blanket.  She blinked rapidly as she stared up at Dipper with sleepiest, most scandalous look on her face and it made Dipper smile at her.

“That was all Bill, right?” She asked in an exhausted but also exasperated voice.

“Every last bit. He’s kinda like you when you need to go. A lot of unnecessary ranting and annoyance for no reason. “ Dipper grinned, chuckling as Mabel rubbed the lines under her eyes away, shaking her head. “Ready for breakfast? I plan on making pancakes since Ford can’t cook.” Dipper asked.

Mabel grinned and noticed excitedly. “Can you make it chocolate chip?”

“Sure. Bill, come downstairs when you’re done!”

“Fuck off!”

“Gladly!” Dipper chirped.

“Wait,” Mabel said as she placed her hand on his shoulder. “Go get him some real clothes.” She ordered firmly. “Bill, when you’re done going, take a shower! You smell like a sweaty, bloody gym sock!”

“That’s a compliment, right?!”

“Just do it, Cipher!” Mabel ordered with a scoff. She looked at Dipper who already looked tired but nodded at her with a sigh when she gave him a look.

“Alright, alright! I think I have an extra pair of pants he can wear or something. I’m not sure if I have a big enough shirt for him though.” Dipper said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“I’ll get him one from the Shack if you don’t or one of my sweaters. I think I have one his size that would look good.” Mabel offered. Dipper nodded.

“While you’re doing that, could you start the batter for me? I’ll let you add edible glitter to it…” Dipper grinned, wiggling his eyebrows. “It might take me some time to find the pants.”

“Really?!” Mabel grinned wide and Dipper stared at her as her eyes got big with excitement.

“Changed my mind, get Stan to do it.”

“Too late! No take backs!” Mabel laughed, jumping and wrapping her arms around Dipper’s neck in a tight hug. He snorted out a laugh as he ruffled her already messy hair. She pulled away and gently nailed a punch to his shoulder with a laugh before she skipped down the stairs. Dipper was chuckling to himself as he headed back to his bedroom.

He searched through the closet first, going through each item for a particular pair of pants that he remembered had been too big for him. He forgot where he got them but he never bothered to ask Mabel to fix them for him or return them to the store to get a smaller size. He was sure he hadn’t thrown them out. Pretty sure. He would never hear the end of it if he had, wasting good clothes like that, from both Stanley and Mabel.

Dipper sighed in relief, finding the pants in the very back of the closet, on a hanger. They were kinda fancy, low key suit pants but they’d do. He just knew he hadn’t put them in the drawers since they didn’t fit and he wouldn’t of worn them anyway since he preferred his jeans and shorts so much more.

He headed back to the bathroom, grabbing a clean towel from the linen closet and could hear the pipes rattling as he came up. Mabel left a shirt, as promised, folded up neatly by the door. He picked it up, adding it to the stack on his arm and knocked on the door.

“Bill I got clothes for you—“ He cut himself off with a strange noise when he opened the door. He quickly covered his eyes, sighing with increasing exhaustion. “Bill, close the curtain. You’re getting water everywhere.”

“Heya, Pine Tree! Did you wanna join me in this rain closet?”

“No way in hell. I’m putting your clothes on top of the toilet.” Dipper said as he ducked his head and rested the clothes on cover of the toilet. “Make sure you dry yourself off and clean up the water. If we get a leakage because you didn’t clean up, you’re the one who’s gonna fix it.” Dipper said sternly. “Close the curtains!” He waited until he heard the curtain move before removing his hand from his eyes. “And come down stairs when you’re done.” When he heard the grumbling grunt of registration, he left the bathroom and headed on downstairs.

He walked into the kitchen, spotting Mabel mixing a massive bowl of pancake batter with her phone pressed between her ear and her shoulder, Stanley sitting at the table and reading his newspaper with a cup of coffee and no Stanford in sight just yet. Dipper waved at Mabel to get her attention before he took the bowl from her as she giggled, nodding to him.

Dipper continued to mix the batter, ignoring the sheer amount of chocolate chips and hopefully edible glitter as Mabel started messing around in the fridge, chattering like a canary to who Dipper realized as Pacifica. He sighed, rolling his eyes as he heated up a pan with butter and prepared to make these monster pancakes.

“So, how’d you sleep, kid?” Stanley asked as he flipped a page in the newspaper.

“Good and bad.” Dipper answered quietly, for Mabel’s phone conversation.

“Should we get the air mattress?” Stanley continued. Dipper shook his head, pausing to actually think about it before giving a shrug.

“If I keep waking up half way on the floor, then maybe.” Dipper allowed with a sigh. Stanley lowered the newspaper with a frown, raising an eyebrow. “I’m fine. My back is just a little sore.” Dipper said as he waved the spatula about.

“Well, let me or Ford know gets…gets…AH! AH! ACHOO!” Stanley sneezed violently, scaring Mabel so much she jumped. He sniffled, grabbing a handful of tissues from the box and blew his nose. “If he gets too much to handle.” Dipper chuckled at Mabel’s surprised and grossed out expression.

“I’ll be fine.” Dipper chuckled out, pouring some batter into the pan and grabbed a plate. “It’s nothing I can’t handle. Speaking of things I can’t handle, where’s Grunkle Ford?” He nodded over his shoulder at Stanford’s seat but got a shrug in response. Dipper frowned, sighing heavily.

Stanford was probably still mad at him from last night, Dipper thought with a deeper frown, hopefully he’ll come to breakfast, at least. He glanced over at Mabel who was of course, making her daily fresh pitcher of Mabel Juice. He cringed and made a show of gagging when she glared at him. He snickered at her face when she stuck her tongue out and flipped the pancake over.

Someone came literally tumbling down the stairs before landing with a dull thud. Then insane cackling followed. Dipper swallowed thickly, shaking his head to get rid of those dark memories as Bill stumbled into the room, dusting his clothes off.

“Wow! That was even funnier than it was back then!” Bill stated proudly, like he had won a prize. Stanley stared at him for several seconds before shaking his head and going back to his newspaper.

“See ya later, Paz!” Mabel chirped cheerfully, finally, as she tapped her phone. She looked over at Bill before letting out a snorting laugh. “Bill, your shirt is backwards, inside out and your fly is down.”

“Huh?”

“The zipper on your pants. Pull it up.” Mabel instructed with a giggle. Bill looked down before he shrugged, zipping them up properly. “Now take off your shirt and give it to me.” Bill gave her a look before shrugging again and did as he was told. She fixed the shirt and gave it back. Before he could put it on backwards again, she flipped it over and then allowed him to pull it on, which he had way too much trouble doing, making both Pines twins laugh at his frustrated grumbles. “If Pacifica was here, you’d give her a heart attack.” Mabel laughed as she pulled Bill’s shirt down and making the blond’s head pop out of the correct hole.

“Why, because of how amazing I look?” Bill grinned. Mabel snorted out another laugh and shook her head.

“No, because you look like you’ve never dressed yourself in your life.” Mabel giggled. Bill crossed his arms.

“Well, I never did! Most of my vessels were dressed when I got them! Plus, I didn’t choose the clothes, Pine Tree did!” Bill huffed out moodily, pointing at Dipper who wasn’t even looking at them.

“If I knew he was gonna pick those pants I would’ve picked out a nicer shirt.” Mabel sighed, giving Dipper a disapproving look.

“What?” Dipper huffed, looking over his shoulder at them before giving Mabel a confused shrug. “He doesn’t look that bad!”

“He’s wearing dress pants with a t-shirt, Dipper. Have you learned nothing from my fashion lessons from high school?” Mabel huffed at him. Dipper shrugged, smirking rather smugly.

“Obviously. You must not be a good teacher. Plus, those are the only pants I own that would fit his tall a-butt. I don’t carry pants that size.”

“Don’t diss my teaching skills when I taught you how to make a pair of pants out of strips of leaves and cloth and they could still be considered designer.” Mabel hissed at him. “And I know. Those are the pants Pacifica bought for you.” She deadpanned and Dipper rolled his eyes as he flipped a pancake onto the growing stack and poured another into the pan.

“Cool it you two.” Stanley grunted out. “I’m too exhausted and sick to listen to you two bicker poorly at each other. And Cipher, sit down before you break something.”

“I haven’t even done anything yet!” Bill said, throwing his hands up. “I didn’t even move!”

“But you’re quiet. And silence is the worst destruction. Sit down.” Stanley ordered firmly. Bill huffed, glancing at Dipper from the corner of his eye. Dipper gave him a firm look and Bill huffed again as he crossed his arms, plopping down in a seat across from Stanley.

“Bill, wanna try Mabel Juice?” Mabel asked sweetly, holding up the freshly made pitcher of Mabel Juice.

“Mabel, don’t you dare. That stuff is the embodiment of coffee, bad decisions and nightmares.” Dipper hissed at her. “Last time I had that stuff, I had to go to the hospital because it kept me up for so long.”

“Hush, bro-bro!” Mabel stuck her tongue at him as she set a full glass down in front of Bill. “At least let him try it!”

“Mabel, seriously, they had to gas me to get me to sleep before I almost _died._ ” Dipper deadpanned.

“Mabel, sweetie, your brother might be-” Stanley lowered the newspaper just in time to see Bill chugging the last of the stuff like it was a shot of vodka. After a few seconds, Bill slammed the empty cup on the table.

Everything was deathly silent, aside from the sizzling pan.

“Shooting Star, I need all of that energy right now. Right now.” Bill said. Dipper twisted his head slightly, squinting and could see Bill’s pupils dilating.

“See? I knew he would like it.” Mabel stated proudly.

“This is the day we all die.” Dipper grumbled under his breath as he could hear Mabel pour another glass. Dipper finished another stack of pancakes and set down a plate in front of Stanley, who grunted his thanks, and then another plate in front of where Mabel seated herself with another glass and the still pretty full pitcher of Mabel Juice.

“Thanks Bro-Bro!” Mabel chirped. Dipper nodded as he set another plate in front of Bill. The demon blinked at it before looking up at Dipper with wide eyes. Dipper gave him a look.

“Thank ya, PT!” Bill suddenly grinned. Dipper’s face scrunched up.

“You’re welcome but if you ever call me PT again, you’ll get the hot pan in your face.” Dipper warned with a grimace as Bill cackled. Bill watched Mabel as she soaked her pancakes in maple syrup before passing it to Bill when he made a grabby hand at her.

“You two better save some syrup for the rest of us.” Dipper warned as he finished up another plate.

“Yeah, yeah!” Mabel giggled out. She smiled at Bill brightly before leaning over the seat in between them to reach him. “He gets moody when there’s not enough for him.” She whispered to Bill who snorted.

“Whatever you’re telling him, you better quit.” Dipper warned again with a huff. Mabel started giggling intensely with Bill who was snorting out snickers with her.

“Sorry, sorry, I over slept!” Stanford shouted out as he rushed into the kitchen, rushing over to the coffee maker.

“It’s okay, Grunkle Ford! Dipper was finishing up making pancakes!” Mabel hummed, reaching over the table to pull the comics from Stanley who just passed it to her.

“Y-Yeah, I made you a plate, if you want some…” Dipper said quietly, looking down slightly as he swallowed thickly.

“Sure, I’ll have some.” Stanford said as he caught his breath, pouring himself a large mug of coffee. Dipper grinned, straightening as he set the plate down next to Stanley. Dipper turned off the stove and pushed the two giggling idiots aside to sit in the chair between them, glaring at them when they giggled louder. He was not liking how they well they were getting along. Not at all.

Stanford turned around as he took a big sip of his coffee before his tired eyes focused on the blond at the end of the table, happily smacking away on the pancakes, getting glitter and chocolate everywhere.

“What…is he doing out of your room, Dipper?” Stanford said in slow, measured breaths. Dipper winced as he swallowed his mouthful without chewing and had to gasp and hold his chest as it slide down painfully. At least it was soft or it would’ve hurt a lot more, he reasoned as he wheezed.

“I got bored! AND! Apparently! I work now!” Bill answered for him, his mouth full of a mushy mess of pancakes, glitter, and syrup. “After all! It’d be inhumane if he kept me locked away for so long, away from real human beings, alone, with the ones in my head!” Bill smiled a little too wide as he spoke, grinning directly at Stanford. Stanley slowly lowered his newspaper to stare at Bill with suspicious eyes.

“Close your mouth, you’re getting pancake everywhere.” Dipper muttered, keeping his head down when he got over his miniature choking. Stanford glanced at him, making Dipper duck his head lower, hunching over slightly. Stanford blinked slowly, his left eye visibly twitching before he took several deep breaths, muttering numbers under his breath.

“Grunkle Ford?” Want some Mabel juice?” Mabel asked sweetly, holding up a half full pitcher.

“N-No, no thank you, sweetheart. My heart still hasn’t fully recovered from that last glass.” Stanford managed to get out in one breath. He turned to Bill with gritted teeth. “I suppose you are correct on that, seeing as you would just break out or break someone. But if you-“ “Yeah, yeah, me and Pine Tree got it all covered. I’ll be on my _best behavior_ until we can figure out how to stop the upcoming apocalypse which should have been _MY_ apocalypse, but…nonetheless, I’ll be semi-good and I look forward to working with you again, Sixer.” Stanford breathed raggedly at the interruption, his hands visibly shaking before he simply walked over and sat down in between Stanley and Mabel.

Dipper watched him before shooting a glare at Bill who just smiled like he did nothing wrong. He rolled his eyes as he stabbed his pancakes with his fork.

“Alrighty!” Mabel said, smiling in that way where you knew she was feeling awkward with all the added tension in the air. “Dip, Bill and I are all going shopping after breakfast!”

“What?” Stanley grunted out. Stanford started choking on his pancakes. Dipper briefly wondered if he had somehow cursed his pancakes to choke them. He eyed Bill suspiciously at the brief thought. Maybe _he_ did.

“Don’t worry! Soos and Wendy are taking our shifts until after lunch and Melody is going to be coming around after her doctor visit.” Mabel chirped on with a  grin.

“I know you got them to cover your shifts but my question is about why are you going shopping.” Stanley deadpanned. He smacked Stanford on the back with the newspaper, helping the other man to stop choking. He continued  to pat his back as Stanford wheezed, hunching over the table, groaning.

“We’re all out of coffee creamer.” Dipper munched out with a mouthful of pancakes, moving on from his other thoughts. “And band-aids.”

“And Bill needs clothes that aren’t cheap and ugly.” Mabel continued. “And other things like bathroom stuff. He used my conditioner.”

“I smell like the embodiment of sugar, glitter and bad decisions.” Bill said proudly, shaking out his shiny hair. Dipper noticed then that Bill did have glitter all over his hair.

“You didn’t even wash it out properly.” Dipper mumbled.

“It’ll do his nasty hair some good.” Mabel said quickly, waving her brother off. Bill made a face at her.

“WHO!” Stanford shouted, getting their attention. “SAID he was going to get anything?!” He continued in a snap when Stanley glared at him for his volume. Mabel then proceeded to sharpen her gaze into a glare at her Grunkle.

“Well, he is living with us. And hardly any of Dipper’s clothes can fit him. Plus, it’d be awfully weird if he had to wear Dipper’s _boxers_.” Mabel hissed almost lethally. ”They would technically be rubbing their genitals on each other by how often Dipper washes his clothes.” The Grunkles tensed hard at that and Dipper made a face.

“Stop using me in your threats, please.” Dipper huffed. “And don’t say stuff like that, we’re eating, Mabel.”

Bill bolted to his feet, slamming his hands on the table to startle the family and reached down into his pants and yanked up the boxers underneath up to be shown, yanking his shirt up at the same time

“AU  CONTRAIRE, SHOOTING STAR!” Bill shouted. “I AM wearing pine tree’s boxers! Right now!”

“Oh my god.” Stanford breathed.

“Relax.” Dipper grumbled into his pancakes. “I’m burning those after we get him clothes.”

“Rude.” Bill huffed.

“Bill, sit down and put your shirt down. And you put the boxers on backwards.” Dipper muttered, rubbing his forehead to try to get out the growing headache. Bill huffed and lowered his shirt, sitting down and glared at Dipper as he kept eating.

“And! Since he’s basically human right now! He needs things! The humans needs!” Mabel said, raising a finger to get Stanford’s attention again.

“Yes! I am human!” Bill gasped sorrowfully, laying back in his seat as he placed a hand against his forehead. “With human needs! Pine Tree, look at my human fingers as they catch on fire!” Bill thrust his hands at Dipper’s face and cracked his fingers, catching them up in a blue fire.

Dipper let out a shocked shriek, jerking backwards to get away and his chair caught onto a loose floorboard. Falling backwards, he grabbed Bill’s chair to steady himself but instead dragged both their ungraceful asses to the floor with a loud crash and matching groans as they banged against the floor. Dipper clutched his head from where he smacked it and Bill was grasping his chest, gasping and wheezing.

“You both are idiots.” Stanley stated matter-of-factly. Mabel busted out laughing, standing as she pushed away her empty plate.

“A-Are you two okay??” She giggled out, helping Dipper to his feet and fixing his chair as Bill curled off his and continued to wheeze.

“I’m fine, just…ow.” Dipper groaned, rubbing the back of his head and feeling a small throbbing area where he had hit his head. He looked down at Bill’s crumpled form, his eyes bulging out of his head and holding his chest with heavy wheezing and Dipper just sighed.

“You okay Bill?” Dipper asked. It took a good few seconds of wheezing before Bill managed to catch the wind that had been knocked out of him before he busted out in a cackle of laughter, holding his stomach.

“You should’ve seen your face!” Bill cackled, pointing up at Dipper’s unamused face. “You shrieked like the feline babies! You looked like someone just cut your tail off!” He snickered-giggled. Dipper continued to give him an unimpressed look, rolling his eyes. He let Bill laugh obnoxiously, ignoring Stanley and Stanford’s uncomfortable looks, getting it all out of his system before Bill simply star fished on the floor, sighing loudly. “That was fun!” He giggled.

“Bill, get off the floor.” Dipper sighed as he took the last bite of his pancakes before gathering the empty plates to put in the sink. Bill snickered as he got up, dusting off his clothes and pulling up his chair with him.

“Shooting Star!” Bill suddenly yelped before the girl Pines could get away, grabbing her hands to trap her. She raised an eyebrow, looking at his weird face. “Do you have any more of that miracle elixir?” Stars seem to light up in her eyes at his eager question.

A connection was then made between the two. Dipper could feel the storm they were brewing from the sink and it made him very uncomfortable. Stanley got up after his finished his pancakes and picked up his plate, putting it in the sink and scurried out as fast as a man as old as he was could, just as Mabel started letting out an excited squealing noise. Mabel then jumped onto Bill, wrapping her arms around his body, trapping his arms and picked him up and swung him around and around with little difficulty.

“OOF!” Bill grunted, his eyes bulging as Mabel swung him about, still squealing.

“Mabel, if you break his spine then you can’t pick his clothes out!” Dipper warned as he fixed himself a to-go cup of coffee. Mabel laughed loudly, setting Bill on his feet and let him stumble about and get the normal color in his face. Stanford uncovered his ears and groaned at his great-niece’s antics.

“Mabel, sweetie, I suggest-“ “Of course I have more Mabel Juice! I have so much that I don’t know what to do with it! Here,  I got more right here!” Mabel interrupted him, rushing over to the fridge and pulled out the massive pitcher of Mabel Juice that had been in the back of it for a while. Bill smiled a little too wide for Dipper’s comfort. Dipper felt the headache already worsening when he remember that that stuff had been basically _brewing_ in the back of the fridge for the past few days and was probably twice as strong as a fresh glass of Mabel Juice was.

“I’m…just gonna get dressed.” Dipper said, shaking his head. Stanford quickly stood up to leave with him, making Dipper snort. No wanted to be there when Mabel overdosed on Mabel Juice, much less Bill.

 

…..

 

“Why are we meeting Pacifica at the mall?” Dipper grumbled as he sipped his coffee, slowing the truck to a stop at the red light. “We still have the after lunch shift and I need to get back in time to show Bill the ropes and do other things and I rather not be at the mall until closing time.”

“Because Pacifica is my fashionista partner to the end of time and no offense, but you both suck at style.” Mabel sniffed cheerfully, flipping a page in the magazine she had brought along, circling a model’s clothes on the page.

“Excuse you, Shooting Star.” Bill snapped as he pulled his head back from the window, his hair stuck every which way out the back of his head. “When I was in my true form, I wore only the best of bowties, the best top hat and even had a matching cane. AND when I possessed your brother and I put him in the best of clothes for your little date play. I have GREAT fashion sense, Shooting Star.” Bill snipped at he plopped back in his seat.

“Considering that the outfit was literally the costume for the play, which we definitely picked out beforehand, it doesn’t count. Plus, formal wear as casual wear is only for the rich and wealthy and the snooty, or if you’re an old-fashion gentleman who grew up as a blueblood like one of Paz’s exes. Which you are none of those things. Your fashion sense is at bro-bro’s level until I see otherwise.” Mabel stated firmly, ignoring Bill’s glares as he crossed his arms, scooting away from her and leaned against the door.

“My fashion sense doesn’t suck, Mabel. I dress practical. I don’t hang out in town, I’m in the woods, hiking and doing research and I’m pretty sure deer and gnomes don’t give a s-hoot about my clothes when I’m working.” Dipper said blankly, pressing on the gas as he took a sharp turn and pushed his coffee cup to rest in between his legs.

“Just because you’re doing boy things doesn’t mean you can’t have a sense of fashion while doing things! I mean, how many people have you met while hiking? Dress to impress, Dipper!” Mabel scoffed. One of them could be your future soul mate!” She flipped a few pages in her magazine to show the designer hiking clothes to Dipper who rolled his eyes.

“If one of the few, actually conscious people I meet on my hiking trips were my soul mate, I think they would care more about me as a person rather than my flannel and shorts.” Dipper grumbled. “Again, most of the people I meet when I’m out in the woods are usually unconscious.”

“You two actually believe in the society made construct of soul mates?” Bill guffawed out a laugh.

“They’re a real thing, Bill!” Mabel snapped.

“Yeah, if you really wanted to be constricted by your meager form of society even more, then sure, believe that.” Bill chuckled.

“And what do you know about soulmates then, smarty-pants?” Mabel snapped further, giving Dipper a small headache. He was silently agreeing with Bill on this as well, he didn’t believe in soul mates either. But Mabel had already given him her rant on the subject and Dipper didn’t want to go through it again.

“Considering the fact I’ve lived eons and eons in different universes and experimented with the greatest minds of those universes, which by the way Sixer doesn’t even get close to, let me tell you…I think I know a thing or two about _soul mates_ , Shooting Star.” Bill snarked, giving Mabel the evil eye.

“You know, anyone with a real heart that they didn’t steal from some poor guy can understand and get the concept of soul mates and how probable it could be.” Mabel groveled out, slowly wrapping up her magazine in her hands. Dipper snorted but quickly coughed to cover it up before Mabel can drag-“Dipper believes in them too!”

“Mabel, for the love of any God out there, do not bring me into this.” Dipper groaned, taking another sip of his coffee.

“There aren’t any Gods that can hear you, you humans destroyed them around the time Christianity really started taking out polytheism, believing they were false entities because of some drugged up hippie in sandals who was actually a demi god cause his mom got fucked up one night with an actual God that got her knocked up through the ass.” Bill snapped. “AND, what do you mean you believe in soul mates, Pine Tree?”

“I use to when I was younger and actually cared about love.” Dipper corrected. “Let’s just say after my last relationship…I don’t think they exist honestly.”

“Dipper….Dipper..” Mabel looked in between being angry with him or being sad for him.

“Seems he saw the truth of the matter.” Bill sniffed, crossing his arms.

“BILL!” Mabel said his name like it was a swear word and seethed, turning to him. “Now you listen here you triangular—“ “OH LOOK WE’RE HERE!” Dipper shouted over Mabel as he sped up and swung into a parking spot.

“We’ll talk about this _later._ ” Mabel seethed at Bill as Dipper jumped out, chugging his coffee.

“I look forward to proving you wrong.” Bill huffed at her. Mabel rolled her eyes and followed Dipper out of the car.

Dipper finished off his coffee and tossed his to-go cup into his truck, under the seat. Mabel and Bill walked over him, Bill keeping his arms crossed as he and Mabel glared at each other.

“Did Pacifica say anything to you, like where to meet?” Dipper asked Mabel, picking through the side pocket on the door to grab his wallet.

“Well, no…but she did say something about you needing something. Like a code glass, whatever that means.” Mabel hummed. “I can text her though.” She added quickly, pulling out her cellphone.

“Code glass?” Dipper asked with a frown.

“Are you gonna be eating glass, Pine Tree?” Bill asked excitedly.

“Not unless I wanna die from internal bleeding, amongst other things.” Dipper scoffed.

“Isn’t that where your blood is supposed to be?” Bill asked. Dipper looked up at him with a defeated look before rubbing his face with a groan.

“We’ll have a human body lesson thing later. As for a code glass I don’t know-oh.” He smacked his forehead as he looked at his wrist band. “Shit, I almost forgot!”

“Dipper!” Mabel gasped out.

“Sorry, sorry, I’ll pay you in a second. Hang on.” Dipper crawled back into his truck and pulled the seat up in driver’s side. Then he got out again and felt around behind the seat. He pulled out a smaller version of a notebook.

“Do you just have those with you everywhere?” Bill asked. “I swear, I have yet to see a time where you did not have one within five feet of you.”

“Basically.” Dipper shrugged. He fixed his seat and locked the door, tucking the notebook into the inside of his coat. “Let’s go.” Dipper nodded to the mall.

“Um, what is the notebook for though?” Mabel asked. “Don’t think you’re going off on a little investigation during this-“ “It’s not an investigation. It’s for Code Glass.” Dipper explained quickly.

“What is Code Glass?” Mabel demanded.

“You will understand in time.” Dipper said, putting his hand on her shoulder, looking at her somberly. They stared at each other for several seconds before Mabel frowned.

“You did not just Masquerade me.” Mabel hissed. Bill gave them a strange look as Dipper sped off in front of them to the mall.

“Noooo, why would you think that?” Dipper said over his shoulder. Bill jogged after him, leaving Mabel in the dust who looked increasingly annoyed.

Bill’s face changed instantly as they walked into the mall, looking on in almost wonder.

“What is this place?” Bill asked, looking down at Dipper with a raised eyebrow and a small, confused frown that had Dipper chuckling.

“It’s called… a department store.” Mabel whispered in between them suddenly.

“Mabel no.”

“It’s…amazing, actually.” Bill mumbled.

“Bill, no, don’t encourage her.”

“Huh?”

“FIRST, a deep breath!” Mabel deeply inhaled. “Take it all in! Feel all those halogens warming your skin…! Smell how they pump in pure oxygen. See…they care…” Mabel grabbed Bill’s arm.

“Welcome to Gravity Falls Mall! I hope you find what you’re looking for!” A greeter that was posted by the doors said as they passed by.

“Thanks.” Dipper said, smiling at her. He smirked to himself as Mabel began dragging Bill along.

“I know you’re scared! Never the less, just think of the people you want to impress!” Mabel sang as she kept dragging Bill along, who was not able to keep his feet still to keep her from dragging him so he was basically stumbling after with Dipper just casually walking behind them with a heavy sigh.

“Swallow your pride for me, just nod yes! And prepare! Cause something’s in the air!” Mabel burst out into a louder singing voice.

“I’m pretty sure it’s carbon dioxide, ozone, fake roses, cleaning chemicals and grease.” Bill commented offhandedly. Dipper snorted behind them.

“Exactly! Here you’ll become what you’re supposed to be! You think you can’t but you can~! Think of the guy you want most to be, here’s your chance to make it, so take it like a man~!” Mabel continued singing with a big smile on her face. Dipper took a big sip of coffee that he had just bought from a small vending machine, keeping an eye on her. If she sang too loud, he’d stop her but this was entertaining to watch Bill’s expressions as she sang.

When Mabel looked over at Dipper with a pout, he groaned loudly. He knew that look. Bill didn’t know the song and Pacifica wasn’t around to sing it. Her pouting got so much more intense before he just let out a heavy sigh, clearing his throat and started the next verse.

“What does she want? Not really sure. Why can’t we leave things the way that they were?” Dipper sang a little quieter, walking faster to be beside Bill and hooked his free arm with his own free arm, the other holding his coffee and notebook. “Why can’t I ever say no to her? What’s that smell?”

“Probably the kid puking over there.” Bill said, pointing over to the side. “Why are you two singing?”

“That I don’t like.” Dipper pointed to Forever 19. “That’s kinda neat.” Then pointed to Heroes and Dragons, smiling when Mabel laughed. “Guys who wear that, get beat up on my street.” Then to Build-a-Pup. “Still I’ve come this far~! I can’t retreat in my shell~! I’m in the hands of Mabel! What the hell!”

“HERE YOU BECOME WHAT YOU’RE SUPPOSE TO BE! YOU THINK YOU CAN’T BUT YOU CAN~!” Mabel busted out singing as Dipper sang along but quieter, being drowned out by Mabel. “THINK OF THE GUY YOU WANT MOST TO BE! HERE’S YOUR CHANCE TO MAKE IT SO TAKE IT LIKE A MAN~!”

“God, I love shopping for guys!” “Okay this is strange.” Mabel’s eyes sparkled when Bill said that and Dipper laughed as they were all pulled into a store, full out ignoring everyone staring at them in confusion and wonder. “Watching them change right before my eyes!”

“You better not watch him change, Mabel.” Dipper suddenly snapped in, making Mabel laugh as she began browsing through the clothes, still singing.

“Look at him, striking a pose! His confidence rose, he’ll bloom like a rose~!” Mabel thrusted some clothes in the Bill’s hands who looked downright scared now.

“It’s just clothes, Mabel.” Dipper chuckled, watching the entire scene with a wide grin.

“GOD, I LOVE SHOPPING FOR MEN!”

“Ooh, this is nice. Good choice, shooting star!” Bill said with a smile as he looked through the clothes she was picking out. Dipper walked over to look at the price tag.

“THEY WALK IN A TWO AND WALK OUT A TEN!”

“Is this the price?! Mabel, we don’t have— ““DON’T WORRY THIS IS MY TREAT! THERE’S SOMEONE I WANT YOU TO MEET!!”

“Mabel Elizabeth Pines, what do you think you are doing!?”

Mabel whirled around and Dipper just snorted at the timing.

“Pazzy-poo!” Mabel gasped in excitement.

“Ugh, never call me that again, Mabel.” Pacifica huffed, flipping her long blonde hair back over her shoulder before she strolled across the store like she owned the place towards them. “So, what’s this about another fashion disaster that I need to fix?” She said, folding her arms, popping her gum and leaning on one leg. She was the embodiment of snootiness and it made Dipper snort again, rolling his eyes at her act.

“Pacifica, darling, this is Bill!” Mabel yanked Bill in front of her, who almost stumbled, clutching all the clothes that Mabel had been gathering. “He’s our next project.”

Pacifica eyed him up and down, a growing sneer on her face as she blew up a big bubble gum bubble and popped it.

“Christ in a manager, this is just the entire word of sadness, isn’t it?” Pacifica sneered, gesturing to him entirely.

“You’re not much better off, Llama.” Bill snapped quickly. Pacifica raised an elegant eyebrow and Dipper was suddenly very worried.

“Excuse me? Did you just call me a llama—Dipper, is he wearing _your_ pants I got you?” Pacifica’s eyebrows shot up before she snapped her head towards Dipper who instantly tensed up before sighing heavily.

“Yeah. He is.”

Pacifica stared at him, clicking her tongue and popping her gum several times, staring at Dipper.

“Is he your new— ““No, no, Pacifica, don’t even go there. He’s literally a demon.” Dipper interrupted her, shaking his head rapidly. “He didn’t have any clothes so I let him use the pants, seeing at those are the only pair I have that fit him.”

“You didn’t tell me they didn’t fit you!” Pacifica snapped at him and he sighed heavier when she stalked over to him, glaring up at him. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve gotten you a smaller size!” Dipper glared up at the ceiling to curse any god who could hear him for cursing him with this conversation before he looked back at Pacifica.

“I was going to ask Mabel to fix them to save you the trouble but I just never got around to it. Don’t look so far into it, Pacifica.” Dipper sighed, taking a sip of his coffee.

Pacifica whipped her hair back and glared harder up at him.

“You know I don’t wear fancy pants enough for this, please stop glaring at me. We have work to do with this piece of work over here.” Dipper said, pointing to Bill. Pacifica glared over at Bill who smiled and waved as best as he could with the clothes in his hands.

“Fine. We are talking about this later.” Pacifica stated firmly. Dipper nodded in agreement with a relieved sigh. “First things first, he needs a haircut.”

“What’s wrong with my hair?” Bill gasped.

“ _Everything._ ” Pacifica hissed like she was Medusa, her eyes showing a fire that made Bill take a small step back. “Mabel, you are taking Bill to my usual hairdresser up on the third floor. You know, Chasey. Take my card, tell Chasey that Pacifica said to give him the proper works and do the greatest job on him. Dipper and I will be finding him proper clothes.”

“Why am I going with you?” Dipper demanded. Pacifica whipped around so fast, her hair barely missed Bill’s face.

“Because you obviously need another fashion lesson if you let _this,_ ” She pointed to Bill. “walk out of the house.” She snarled. She looked over him and saw the notebook, her angry expression dripping away instantly as a sparkle returned to her eyes. “Is that…?”

“Yeah, yeah, fine. Mabel, do what she says. Here, give me the clothes.” Dipper waved her off, thrusting both the notebook and his cup of coffee into Pacifica’s arms, making her sputter in annoyance and yanked the clothes out of Bill’s arms. “We have a limited time to do this sh-stuff so let’s get to it.”

“Sir, yes, sir!” Mabel chirped cheerfully, hooking an arm around Bill’s arm and taking the card Pacifica was holding out.  “See you two later!” She laid a big smooch on Pacifica’s cheek, making the blonde flush before she dragged the dream demon away, laughing as he tried to ask questions.

Pacifica waited until they were out of the store and out of sight before she turned to Dipper, ripping the notebook open.

“Are these all of her choices?” She demanded/asked as she flipped through the book.

“What, you think I couldn’t do it? Please, this is something Mabel and I talk about all the time.” Dipper scoffed in disbelief as he began putting clothes back.

“Really? Why?” Pacifica asked, lowering the book.

“We do it as a little bonding sibling thing. One of the few things we still have in common.” Dipper chuckled. “Just wait until you ask her, you’ll see what I mean.” Pacifica stared at him, pursing her lips and furrowed her eyebrows. She sighed, shaking her head and cleared her throat.

“Alright, thank you for this. Get a cart for the clothes. We’re getting a lot if Mabel was telling the truth about buying a whole new wardrobe for this Bill guy.” Pacifica said, her face flushing brightly and a tiny smile drawing her face.

“Not a new wardrobe, a wardrobe entirely.” Dipper explained, grabbing a cart that was by the door to the shop. “Any of these clothes you like?”

“Put them all back, I’m starting this over.” Pacifica demanded. “Why does this guy need a wardrobe? What happened to his old clothes?”

“Okay, you know that triangular…” Dipper looked around for Mabel before continuing his speech. “…asshole that Mabel and I talked about that you didn’t really truly believe us about?”

“…Bill Cipher?” Pacifica asked, helping him put clothes back and setting the notebook and coffee cup on the top basket of the cart.

“Yeah, that’s the one. Well, that’s him in human form.” Dipper said, pushing the cart and following Pacifica around.

“You’re joking.” Pacifica snapped.

“Nope. That’s him. We’re kind of a true with him because apparently the end of the world is coming thanks to some fall out he had with his friends. The truce is that we help him get back at them for kicking him out and he helps us stop them from staring an apocalypse.” Dipper said with a shrug. Pacifica stared at him as she began picking out clothes and laying them in the cart.

“…I can’t even tell if you’re joking or not.”

“Well, I wish I wasn’t because I fucking hate him more than I hate living and I would gladly explode his head all over a wall but unfortunately, we need him. And he can’t wear my clothes because of that reason and also because he’s bigger than me.” Dipper grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Jesus Christ, Dipper.” Pacifica said softly. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired. Like always.” Dipper sighed heavily. “And I have a headache because of him. Let’s get this over with, yeah?”

“Yeah, alright. We’ll go around this store and go by that shop you wrote down in here to look around before they get back.” Pacifica said, looking slightly worried as she pointed to the notebook.

“Good plan. Better be quick though. Those two drank like a gallon of Mabel juice before we left the house.” Dipper sighed again.

“And the guy isn’t dead? He must be the demon triangle then.” Pacifica said with a startled expression and Dipper laughed.

“Yeah basically. Come on. I get to pick out his casual clothes with you. He doesn’t need the fancy stuff.”

 

…

 

“What the hell do you mean you don’t carry these?” Pacifica demanded, slamming the notebook down on the glass counter. Dipper sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I’m sorry. Miss Northwest but we just don’t carry that stone in this store.” The employee managed to squeak out.

“LISTEN TO ME. I NEED THIS GEM.” Pacifica snarled viciously. “This ring isn’t going to be complete until I have beautiful, _perfect_ pink diamond _hearts_ lining the band and a GOREGOUS opal STAR in the middle of this wonderful creation my lovely lover designed so you BETTER GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, young lady or I _will_ get my father in here and you don’t want me to bring him in here! He’s worse than me!”

“Pacifica, oh my god, you are literally the worst.” Dipper said as he strolled up next to her. “I’m sorry about her. She’s been planning this for months. How soon will it be to have the pink diamonds and opal delivered here for this custom project?” Dipper asked as he pushed her slightly to the side to smile softly at the nervous cashier.

“U-Uh, j-judging by the amount and how much it would be, it’d be here in about two weeks from our sister location, which is out of town. The custom job will take about four weeks after that and any added final details should be added before the completion but they would take another week.” The girl said carefully, her voice becoming stronger as she looked at Dipper who smiled at her patiently.

“I see, I see. “Dipper hummed. “Could you please go ahead and set up the order under the name ‘Northwest’? Again, I’m sorry about her, she’s been really wanting to do this and she doesn’t handle bumps in her plans well.”

“Dipper, I will _destroy_ you.” Pacifica sneered.

“I-it’ll be alright.” The girl mumbled, flushing slightly. She pulled out a form from a shelf and handed it to Pacifica with a pen. “Please sign this document.”

Pacifica glared up at Dipper with another sneer while he smiled patiently before she snatched the pen from the salesgirl and began scribbling across the document, reading it carefully.

“Does she need to make a prepay or a down payment for this order?” Dipper asked gently.

“U-Um, she needs to make a prepay for this if she intends to immediately use the gems in the project.” The sales girl, Robin, said.

“Alright, that’s no problem.” Dipper smiled wider. “Thank you for being so patient with us.”

“O-Oh! I-It’s no trouble!” Robin chirped rather sweetly. “U-Uh…may I ask who the ring is for?”

“None of your- ““My sister. If you see a girl who looks like me with long hair, that’s her. Don’t tell her. It’s going to be a surprise.” Dipper hummed cheerfully, interrupting Pacifica.

“Oh, how lovely! I hope it goes well for you, Miss Northwest!” Robin smiled good-naturally at Pacifica who grimaced uncomfortably, her face flushing several colors.

“Thank you.” Pacifica mumbled, finishing up the document and pushing it back to Robin. “How much do I owe you?”

“Oh, let me ring you up with this really quick!” Robin said, quickly rushing to the cash register in the back.

“It really pays to be nice and patient with people, ya know.” Dipper commented.

“Shut up Dipper.” Pacifica snapped.

“If you made her cry, you probably wouldn’t be able to get the ring.” Dipper added. Pacifica’s demeanor immediately shifted, her shoulders slouching in defeat. “Work on it, Pacifica.”

“I-I know.” She sighed tiredly. “I was just frustrated.”

“Don’t take it out on the sales clerk when your plans are on their shoulders.” Dipper said firmly. “Mabel wouldn’t have liked it if she saw this.”

“I _know_.” Pacifica hissed lethally, glaring at him from the corner of her eye. “I’m working on it.”

“Work on it harder.” Dipper snapped at her and her expression changed instantly. “Seriously. You need to work on it harder for Mabel.”

“Okay. OKAY!” Pacifica snapped back, crossing her arms over her chest. Dipper rolled his eyes at her pouting and sulking like a child for being reprimanded.

“Here’s your total, Miss Northwest. Please sign here.” Robin came back, holding a receipt and a pen, sliding it to her.

“Thanks.” Pacifica grumbled. She signed the paper and then wrote out a check, giving it to Robin.

“Have a great day you two! We’ll call one of your numbers when the items arrive.” Robin smiled, brightening at Dipper. Shit.

“Thank you again. And you too, Robin.” Dipper said, tugging Pacifica out of the jewelry store. He grabbed the cart he had left outside that had several shopping bags for clothes inside. Dipper finished off the cup of coffee and signed heavily. “Now that that’s out of the way, let’s find Mabel and Bill before Mabel get us kicked out the mall again.”

“PAZ!! DIPPING SAUCE!!” Mabel’s voice echoed from the other end of the mall.

“She is literally the devil.” Dipper said with a laugh when he spotted her and Bill running towards them. Pacifica made a face at him but said nothing as the disastrous duo came running up.

“What took you two so long?” Pacifica demanded. Dipper’s eyebrows raised at Bill’s new hairstyle. It was shorter now and the blond job had been redone with second layer of black underneath the blond and the blond half was now tied back a little. Dipper tilted his head slightly and noticed—

“Bill wanted to get his ears pierced!” Mabel chirped.

For sure, Bill was grinning from his newly pierced ears, both pierced twice with a large golden stud and then a black one for the second piercing. Dipper resisted the urge to rub his growing headache away and held back his exhausted sigh. He needed more coffee if he was going to keep up with this shit.

“I wanted to get my tongue pierced too but shooting star wouldn’t let me!” Bill whined, pouting like a child.

“Because you would probably rip it out by accident!” Mabel chastised. “I promise, if you can keep those earrings in without ripping them out, we’ll let you get your tongue pierced!”

“Oh my god, do not let him get his _tongue pierced_ , Mabel.” Dipper demanded, his voice deepening slightly as he glared at Mabel. She blinked at him before she laughed.

“Ahhh…I forgot about that— ““Mabel, shut your mouth. Do not finish that sentence.” Dipper snapped, his gaze getting harder and Mabel only laughed harder.

“Okay, okay!! Did you guys find good clothes for Bill?” Mabel asked, changing the subject.

“Wait, what was pine tree— ““We found a lot that’ll match him very well. Dipper isn’t so incompetent with casual clothes as he had us believe.” Pacifica said, interrupting Bill with a snap. Bill frowned deeply, staring down into their cart.

“Good! We already got him shoes while you were doing that and I got the essentials like deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, yadda yadda. I think we’re almost done!” Mabel chirped, smiling brightly as Pacifica who smiled warmly back.

“That’s great.” Pacifica cooed softly and Mabel just full out beamed in happiness.

“Thank you so much for doing this, Paz. I really appreciate it!” Mabel suddenly hugged Pacifica tightly, dropping the bags she had been carrying into Dipper’s cart before doing so.

“O-Of course, Mabel. You know this isn’t any problem for me.” Pacifica sniffed, trying to look proud as she hugged the slightly taller girl.

“You might wanna cut the love train short, people are staring and someone is about to take a picture.” Dipper said quickly, looking around the mall at the people, glaring at them when someone pulled out their phone.

“Oh right!” Mabel said, pulling back and held Pacifica’s shoulders. “Forgot about that!” She still smiled but Pacifica looked a little disappointed.

“Is there something going on or are you all purposefully being shady as fuck?” Bill demanded, dropping his bags into the pile growing in the cart. Dipper hoped nothing was breakable in there.

“Nothing really going on. Pacifica is still too popular, Mabel is amazing and they are dating and the paparazzi loves to bring it up too much.” Dipper explained carefully.

“Dating?” Bill asked.

“Oh yeah!” Mabel giggled, turning to Bill and letting Pacifica go. “Me and Paz have been dating for several years now, since middle of high school!”

Bill looked like he was a real-life loading screen, processing the information.

“Huh.”

That was it.

Dipper’s eyebrows furrowed slightly at the lack of reaction and looked at Bill curiously. He was still seemingly processing it but he didn’t seem like he was going to say anything else.

“Well now that we got that out of the way, let’s head back home for lunch before Stanley sends the hounds after us for missing our shift. Pacifica, are you coming with us?” Dipper asked, deciding not to comment on Bill’s lack of reaction.

“I’m afraid not. I have a lunch meeting with my parents around two.” Pacifica replied with a tired sigh. “They wanted to have another discussion on my future in my father’s company. I may have to reconvince him that I will be a suitable heiress.”

“Aww, I hope it goes well!” Mabel looked at her with sympathy and Pacifica’s hard expression softened. “You know you are the most suitable! I believe in you, honey!”

“I’m sure it will go well and thank you.” Pacifica said softly, her cheeks brightening as she gave another rare smile. Dipper was really tired of this and rolling his eyes out of his skull.

“Come on, let’s head out.” Dipper urged.

…

After Mabel and Pacifica made out in the parking lot for a good five minutes and the drive back home was just full of love-sick sighs from Mabel who had yet to notice the lipstick smears on her mouth and Dipper wasn’t about to tell her, they finally made it home with Bill’s new wardrobe.

“Stan! Ford! We’re home!” Dipper yelled as he kicked the back-door open, heaving all the large bags of clothes he could carry in one trip.

“Oh, hey kiddos. Was startin’ to worry.” Stanley greeted with a tired smile. “How’d the trip go?”

“Better than I thought. No one died, no fires were started and Bill didn’t make anyone cry.” Dipper reported. Stanley nodded in understanding. “Where’s Ford?”

“He’s probably in the lab. Where’s the other two?”

Dipper looked behind him and opened the door with his foot.

“LET’S GO SLOWPOKES!” Dipper shouted at them.

“WE’RE COMING PINETREE! HOLD YOUR DAMN DOGS!”

“That’s a new one.” Stanley commented as he finished making a sandwich, taking a bite.

“He’s really racking up the tally for how much he has to pay Mabel.” Dipper chuckled. He held the door open with his foot, easily balancing with all the bags in his arms and standing on one foot to keep the door open as Mabel and Bill scuttled inside with their bags.

“Did you buy the whole store?” Stanley asked, his mouth full and he sprayed some crumbs out as he spoke.

“Pazzy almost did!” Mabel giggled. “Come on, let’s find a place to put all these clothes and you can get dressed in real clothes, Bill.”

“I swear, if she got me gross stuff, I will set it on _fire._ ” Bill warned. Mabel just laughed, not taking it seriously but Dipper was instantly worried.

“I’m sure she and Dipper chose only the best!” Mabel chirped.

After four and a half fires that had Dipper’s room smelling like a forest fire, there were two bags of singed clothes that Bill had downright _refused_ to even touch, for some reason. Dipper couldn’t find any particular reason or get one from Bill as to why he didn’t want those clothes in particular but he still had to toss them into his truck to take back to mall later this week with the appropriate receipts. And of course, he couldn’t wear them, they were too big for him and Bill was still like a head taller than him and he wouldn’t ask Mabel to make them fit for him anyway so back to the mall they were going.

Dipper was fixing his own clothes to look a little more presentable before his shift while Bill was changing in the bathroom. Dipper brushed his fingers through his unmanageable curls and plopped his proper hat on after pinning a nametag on it. Yeah, they had to wear nametags now. Dipper tried not to question it but it was annoying.

“Pine tree, what do you think?!” Bill shouted as he slammed the door open. Dipper picked up the half-empty bottle of ibuprofen off his dresser, popping two in his mouth before he turned around with a swallow.

“Your shirt is inside out again and your fly is down. Again.” Dipper said, walking over to Bill as he shut the door behind him with a mad grin. “How did you even get the shirt inside out? We bought it normally!”

Bill just shrugged, offering no answer with a smile. Dipper rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the pounding headache. He hated how his room smelt now. The smell of burning wood always made his skin crawl, his stomach lurch closer to him being sick and his head would _hurt so bad._ He just didn’t understand it.

“Take your shirt off. Let me fix it and show you.” Dipper ordered. Bill did as he was told, handing it to Dipper who fixed it. “Shirts have these tags in the back of them. The tag is supposed to be on the inside of the shirt and behind you.” Dipper explained, showing the Bill the white tag who stared eagerly. “Do you understand now?”

“Why do they have tags? Do they get lost easy?” Bill asked. Dipper stared at him before snorting when he realized what Bill was talking about.

“No…not like dog tags, Bill. Tags are on clothes to tell you what size the clothing is, where it was made, what’s it made of, ectara ectara. It might also be so it’s easier to put on right for people like you.” Dipper said, handing Bill the shirt. Bill scowled as he slowly pulled the shirt on, making sure the tag was in the back like he had said.

“Rude.” Bill huffed, pulling the shirt down. Dipper swatter his hands away and fixed it properly and then reached down, zipping up Bill’s pants, making the demon let out a shrieking noise. “HEY!”

“If you aren’t going to remember to do it, I will do it for you and next time, I’ll try to catch your _dick_ in it. And if you know how sensitive that is, you _will remember to do it right._ ” Dipper threatened.  “Surgery to remove zipper teeth is not fun and that pain is definitely not fun.”

“Okay, okay!” Bill huffed moodily and crossed his arms over his chest as he glared at Dipper who took a few steps back to look him over. Luckily this bastard chose some simple clothes for his first day of work which was just a simple white button up and a pair of black jeans. Dipper had to admit, he didn’t look that bad.

“Good choice.” Dipper suddenly said, nodding in approval. “How’s your injuries?”

Bill raised an eyebrow before he unbuttoned his sleeves, slowly folding them up to his elbows until some of bandages from earlier could be seen.

“Some of my magic I can still use so I rushed the harsher ones but they aren’t bothering me too much. Just making it hard to move.” Bill explained, showing Dipper the bandages.

Dipper grabbed one of Bill’s arms, the one who was mostly covered in bandages and tugged it slightly to make him hold it out for him to look at. Judging by how securely it was held, Bill hadn’t messed with it much and the skin wasn’t pink with irritation yet so Bill must have been a little gentler with himself.

“Try not to work too hard, since it’s your first day and you’re still pretty injured. Adding to the fact we’ve been walking around all day, you’ll probably get tired quickly. I’ll change the bandages after the second tour and again before bed if you remind me. We don’t want these to get infected.” Dipper said, gently testing the bandages to make sure they were secure.

“Shouldn’t shooting star do it since she did these?”

“Mabel is good at treating injuries, yeah but I can handle the redressing process. Plus, I don’t think Grunkle Ford wants you around Mabel any more than you are already.” Dipper said with a shrug, looking up at Bill. The demon frowned slightly.

“I’m not _that_ bad.”

“Oh, you are. You really are. You are a horrible influence on her.” Dipper said with a firm nod. Bill scowled. “Come on, we gotta work.” Dipper let his arm go and walked around him to get to the door.

“What about lunch?”

Dipper mentally cursed himself at the simple sentence.

“Um…” Dipper rested his hand on the doorknob, thinking carefully. “Ask Stan or Mabel for some. I’m not hungry and I don’t feel like cooking.”

“Didn’t you just say I’m a horrible influence on shooting star?” Bill asked as Dipper opened the door.

“Ask Stan. Or would you prefer to ask Ford to make you some lunch?” Dipper sighed as Bill followed him.

“I’d prefer it if you’d make me lunch instead of making this much more complicated than it needs to be, pine tree.” Bill snapped. Dipper knew very well his headache was not disappearing.

“God damn, you’re so spoiled, you’re almost as bad as Pacifica.” Dipper grumbled. “Fine, I’ll make you lunch.”

“Dipper!” Mabel called. “Is that you and Bill?”

“Yeah!”

“Come into the kitchen, I made hot dogs!”

“Never mind, Mabel made us lunch.” Dipper grinned cheekily at Bill who angrily rolled his eyes with crossed arms.

As Bill stomped ahead of him to get to the kitchen, Dipper felt a wave of nausea hit him. Then there was the slam of something pounding harder in his head. Bill disappeared into the kitchen and Dipper could hold his head and groan in pain at the peace for a moment. Pain blared behind his eyes and Dipper had to lean against the wall to stay upright as he shook his head. More pain blared but into his chest and Dipper gripped his chest tightly, closing his eyes.

It was like he was remembering something and the memory pain haunted him but there was nothing to remember. Dipper shook his head rapidly, coughing hard to get out the pain there. With these quick movements, the pain evaporated as quickly as it had come.

Dipper took several deep breaths to remain calm and collected. He needed another cup of coffee, eat lunch with Mabel and Bill, get started with his shift and eventually change Bill’s bandages. It was going to be fine. He took a few deeper breaths, cracked his neck and walked in.

“Hey dip-dop! What held you back?” Mabel chirped at him.

“Eh, just had to pee.” Dipper said as he passed by the sink. He looked at Bill who was reading something off the newspaper on the table. Dipper dipped his hand into a cup of water that was in the sink and he went over to Bill and then smeared his wet hand all over his face. “Here, have a smell of my pee hand, Cipher.”

“AGGHHH NO! BODY WASTE! EW EWEWEWEW EWWWWW!!!” Bill screeched out in terror, trying to fight the offending wet hand but Dipper was not letting up with a sadistic grin.

Mabel and Dipper laughed loudly, Mabel knowing full well what Dipper had done. (She was the one to usually do it) Dipper finally pulled away and Bill looked like he was just about to start the apocalypse right then and there.

Bill smelt the air, wiping the water off his face and sniffed it in confusion.

“Is this…water?”

“Pee is made out of water, Bill.”

“AAAAAGGGGHHH!”

Yeah, Dipper could hang on a little longer.


End file.
